


Of Puppies and Lullabies

by thatSlytheringirl



Category: EXO
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Depression, Fluff, M/M, Mpreg, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-04
Updated: 2019-12-04
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:36:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21666793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatSlytheringirl/pseuds/thatSlytheringirl
Summary: After getting himself in a mess he hadn't foreseen, Baekhyun sees his life change drastically. Having a one night stand with his crush since childhood hadn't been part of Baekhyun's plans, much less to end up in a fake relationship with him...or to end up pregnant with his baby.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol
Comments: 87
Kudos: 815
Collections: #BabyMakingFest2019





	Of Puppies and Lullabies

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt number: BMF026  
> Pairing: Baekhyun/Chanyeol  
> Carrier: Baekhyun   
> Pregnancy: pre-pregnancy/pregnancy  
> Babies: Only one  
> Prompt: It's a classic - get into a fake relationship (fake marriage if you prefer) with somebody who's way above your level, get pregnant, work all day and experience mental breakdowns.   
> Baekhyun knew Chanyeol didn't love him. Baekhyun loved him. Baekhyun knew Chanyeol didn't like kids - this was fake after all. Baekhyun was pregnant. And alone 
> 
> Thank you for reading this mess! I know it was rushed at the end, but life threw a couple of obstacles in my way and I almost didn't finish. At least we have this, right?
> 
> I would like to thank A and V for being so awfully patient in this process, always reading this and giving me feedback. Without you I wouldn't have ended. Thank you for you love and support!
> 
> To the mods, thank you for being so patient with me and the 6564782 screw ups I had since the beginning and for the amount of extensions I had to ask for. You were awfully nice, which made the experience so much better for me in this time of tension in my life.
> 
> To the prompter, I'm so sorry if this doesn't exceed your expectations. The final outcome is nothing like your prompt, and I would like to apologize for that. Out of nowhere, the story wrote itself and I lost control of it. I hope you at least enjoy it a little?
> 
> Anyway, once again, thank you so much for giving this story a chance! Until next time

Baekhyun moaned in ecstasy as Chanyeol pounded hard into him, the smaller’s ass in the air and his face buried in a pillow to try -and fail- at muffling the loud sounds that were escaping his mouth. He couldn’t help it, though, not when Chanyeol was doing him so deliciously, his cock moulding his insides with every movement. 

Deep inside, Baekhyun knew this was a horrible idea since, while he was in love with Chanyeol, the same couldn’t be said for the latter. After all, even if Chanyeol had been nice with him since childhood, he’d never shown any sort of interest in him and the only reason they were in their current situation was because alcohol had clouded both their judgements enough to have the giant fuck the smaller. 

Still, Baekhyun pushed that to the back of his mind, preferring to enjoy the time he had with Chanyeol, even if his heart would end up broken the following morning.

Pulling himself out of that train of thought, he pushed his ass closer towards Chanyeol, begging with his actions and his voice for more. Chanyeol, on the other hand, didn’t oblige and instead slowed down his pace until he stopped moving all together.

Whining, Baekhyun looked at Chanyeol from over his shoulder, his lips pouty and tears slipping down his cheeks. “W-why did you stop?”

For a moment, an unreadable expression crossed Chanyeol’s eyes before his lips pulled up into a smirk. “I want you to work for my cum, baby.”

Baekhyun felt his cock twitch at that, loving the way Chanyeol’s voice deepened when he talked dirty to him. Without hesitating Baekhyun pushed his hips back once again before retreating, moaning at how amazing it truly felt to have Chanyeol’s meat inside his tight cunt. He started slowly at first, delighted by knowing that Chanyeol was watching him pleasure himself on his cock. Even if he must’ve looked like a desperate little slut he didn’t care because, honestly, he _was_ desperate.

Finally taking mercy on Baekhyun, Chanyeol grabbed his hips and stopped him, pulled out of him and turned him around, making Baekhyun lay on his back and stare up at him. “I want to see your pretty face when you cum for me, baby,” he groaned before he entered Baekhyun once again in one go. “Fuck, your ass feels amazing.”

Baekhyun moaned at that, opening his legs as far as he could to give Chanyeol all the access he could to his entrance. The taller seemed to appreciate it since he grabbed the smaller’s thighs tightly and pushed them back. The position made Chanyeol reach deeper inside, which in return had Baekhyun crying at how good it felt, desperate for more. 

“F-fuck, Chanyeol!” he exclaimed, his eyes shut tightly as drool dribbled down his chin, all inhibitions thrown out the window because dammit, he felt too good in that moment. 

The giant seemed to love Baekhyun’s reaction since he sped up his thrusts, entering Baekhyun’s heat over and over in a relentless pace that had the smaller seeing stars...and when he finally hit that sweet spot inside of him, Baekhyun thought he would die.

The most obscene of sounds escaped his pretty lips as a shot of pleasurable electricity travelled through his body, making his nerve endings sing. That only prompted him to become even louder, begging, whining, and crying as Chanyeol made him feel unlike any other ever had. 

“P-please, please!” He cried as he wrapped his fingers around his cock and started to pump, trying to keep up with Chanyeol’s rhythm. 

“Come on, baby. Cum for me,” groaned Chanyeol as his thrusts became more erratic and uncontrolled, less rhythmical and precise, but equally as delicious. 

“Ch-Chanyeol!” Screamed Baekhyun as his vision darkened, ropes of cum leaving his cock as the best orgasm of his life hit him full force. 

“Shit,” moaned Chanyeol as Baekhyun clamped hard around his dick, milking his own orgasm out of him, his cum painting Baekhyun’s walls as it did so and making its claim on them. 

Baekhyun barely registered anything after that, his mind too hazy from the fantastic orgasm and from the alcohol he’d consumed previously. His body felt numb and light, almost like he was floating in a cloud up in the sky. In the back of his mind, he vaguely registered Chanyeol pulling out of him and getting off the bed, but he was far too gone to really pay any mind to that. 

Before he even noticed, he’d fallen asleep in Chanyeol’s bed, completely forgetting what the moment they shared had actually meant.

++++

The following morning, Baekhyun woke up to a slight headache pounding right behind his eyes. Groaning, he moved around, stretching his tired muscles and feeling shots of pain travel from his ass up to his back. Immediately, he snapped his eyes opened and noticed the unfamiliar room he was in before realization hit him like a bucket of ice water. 

Covering his eyes in shame, Baekhyun gave himself some time to think as the memories of the previous night rushed through his mind in tidal waves. 

He’d actually been fucked by Park Chanyeol, the man he’d loved for almost eight years and had a crush on for even longer. He’d slept with him despite knowing the man had no feelings for him other than, perhaps, some level of barely existing affection. 

Okay, sure, Baekhyun was no saint and had a couple of one night stands through the years. After all, he had needs like any other. On this particular occasion, though, said hook up was the person he had actual _feelings_ for. A someone that didn’t share said feelings for him. 

It was a disaster. 

How would he face Chanyeol after that? Not that they hung out regularly, but they had friends in common. Kyungsoo, Baekhyun’s best friend, was in a relationship with one of Chanyeol’s closest friends, Jongin. They frequented the same places and sometimes went out with them and others from their circle of acquaintances. In fact, last night had been one of said reunions, the group having decided to celebrate Jongin’s birthday at a famous club in town and Baekhyun, foolish idiot that he was, had decided to drink and then grind his ass very unceremoniously against Chanyeol’s crotch. 

He groaned at the memory, knowing perfectly well that everyone could most likely imagine what happened after Chanyeol had offered to take him back to his apartment and have some ‘fun.’ 

“I’m so dumb,” he murmured as despair took over him. Sure, the sex had been fantastic, the best he’d ever had -and he hadn’t expected less knowing the reputation that preceded Chanyeol-, and sure, he could finally say he hooked up with the man he loved after pining after him for so long but, really, what good would it do to his heart to have slept with the man when to Chanyeol what they did meant _nothing_ while to Baekhyun...it meant _everything_. 

Even more upset now at that train of thought, Baekhyun decided to go look for Chanyeol and ask him where his clothes were. He knew he had long overstayed his visit. After all, one night stands weren’t supposed to sleep over, right? At least, in his experience, he would always leave right after without having to be told twice.

As he walked down the hallway, using clothes he figured were Chanyeol's since they were too big for him, he noticed how luxurious the apartment was with its plain white walls decorated with expensive-looking paintings. Of course, Park Chanyeol was a wealthy man, son of a family of important government officials and lawyers, and of course, Chanyeol had followed right behind, studying law like his predecessors and soon becoming one of the best in the field. 

His admiration was cut short, though, when he heard voices from the living room. He could make out Chanyeol’s clearly -he could recognize his voice anywhere-, but the other two, female in nature, were unfamiliar.

Looking around the corner, Baekhyun kept himself hidden as he saw two women sitting on one of the living room couches, looking regal and wealthy, while Chanyeol was standing in front of them, clad in a pair of sweatpants similar to the ones Baekhyun was wearing and a loose black shirt. 

“Chanyeol, I’m not taking back my word on this. I believe it’s for the best,” said the older woman, who Baekhyun soon recognized as Chanyeol’s grandmother from the endless cocktail parties his parents had forced him to endure through the years.

“How can marrying someone I detest be for the best?!” He exclaimed, his deep voice exasperated. “How can you say that when you know how much that woman hurt me?!”

“Chanyeol, don’t speak to your grandmother like that,” said Chanyeol’s mother sternly. “Be respectful.”

Chanyeol threw his head back and ran his hand through his hair. “I’m sorry,” he sighed as he sat down on the vacant couch. “I’m just- I thought you forgot about this," he mumbled, looking defeated. 

His grandmother stared at him with a stern look in her eyes. "I have always been serious about this arrangement, Chanyeol. Just because I stopped talking about it doesn't mean it wasn't going to happen."

Chanyeol kept his head lowered at that. "I know," he whispered, looking defeated. Baekhyun felt a pang stab his heart at the sight. "When is the wedding supposed to happen ?" 

"In a month," she replied. 

Too shocked to stop himself, Baekhyun gasped loudly at that, immediately drawing the attention of the three people in the room to him. He regretted it, of course, and wished he wouldn't have been so careless, but alas, it was too late. 

"I-Im sorry," he stuttered as both Park women stared at him with shock evident in their eyes while Chanyeol had an unreadable look in his eyes. "I-I heard voices and c-came to check what was going on."

"Baekhyun," said grandma Park with a sweet smile after she concealed her obvious surprise. "It's nice to see you again."

Baekhyun approached them slowly, his steps tentative as he tried to calm down his heart. He met Chanyeol's eyes briefly, afraid of what he would see. He looked calm as he followed Baekhyun's movement, but that only made Baekhyun even more nervous. 

"I didn't know you and my son were seeing each other," said Mama Park with a light in her eyes that hadn't been there before. 

Baekhyun felt mortified at those words, not knowing how to deny them without sounding like the slut his own mother believed him to be. Panicking inside, he looked at Chanyeol, who hadn't changed his expression throughout the ordeal. 

"We haven't been together for long," said Chanyeol at last as he grabbed Baekhyun’s hand and pulled him over, prompting him to sit next to him. Baekhyun winced once his ass touched the couch before he could stop himself and felt his cheeks heating up once he saw both women's knowing looks. "That's why we hadn't said anything. Right babe?" 

Baekhyun gulped, his heart picking up its speed at Chanyeol's words and at the way he tangled their fingers together. "Y-yeah, we wanted to wait." 

Grandma Park smiled. "That's perfectly fine too. We understand." She studied the two men for a moment. "I wonder what your grandmother will think when she finds out."

Baekhyun widened his eyes, remembering in that moment what he'd heard. "M-my grandmother? I-I haven't talked to her in… yeah." 

Mama Park looked at him sympathetically before placing a hand on grandma Park’s shoulder. "Give them time to breathe. Their relationship is just starting."

"Ah you're right," said grandma Park. "I'll give you two time, but," added grandma Park as she looked at the men pointedly. "Don't take too long. Waiting can be a hassle, especially with the… Current circumstances."

Baekhyun gulped at that, unsure of what to say about the situation. Either way, he wasn't about to disrespect the two older Park women in any way and figured it would be better to wait until he spoke to his grandmother to explain everything. 

The two ladies didn't leave long after that, claiming they would give the "lovebirds" more time to enjoy their morning together with very suggestive looks that made Baekhyun feel jittery. 

If only they knew. 

Chanyeol remained silent after that, simply motioning with his hand for Baekhyun to follow him to the kitchen. Baekhyun did as asked, of course, nervous of what the final outcome of everything would be. He couldn't read Chanyeol well, couldn't tell what was going on in his mind at all in that moment. 

Baekhyun remained silent as he watched Chanyeol move around preparing breakfast. The smaller would've offered to help, but he didn't want to get in Chanyeol's way.

Instead, he decided to _observe_ Chanyeol's actions, admiring from the sidelines how the latter worked diligently on preparing pancakes with banana and blueberries added into the mixture and orange juice freshly made by the giant himself. 

Baekhyun was impressed. He knew Chanyeol could cook, but he never thought his skills went to that point. 

Once ready, Chanyeol prepared the table with Baekhyun silently helping any way he could since he hadn't done anything so far and felt very embarrassed. 

They ate in silence and Baekhyun took his time savoring the food because it really was delicious. For a moment, he forgot about the situation at hand, his mind focusing on the delicious taste of the pancakes and the fruits on his taste buds. He enjoyed the food as best he could, not being able to remember when was the last time he had such a good breakfast considering that all the food he prepared himself in his apartment was frozen. 

By the time he was done, an easy smile was plastered on his lips, his body relaxed like it hadn't been in a long time. 

Who would've thought that a good fuck and a hefty breakfast could do such wonders? 

"Did you like the food?" asked Chanyeol. 

Baekhyun opened his eyes at that and grinned. "It was delicious. Thank you." 

A silence fell between them after that, a tense one that Baekhyun didn't know how to break. Thankfully, Chanyeol seemed to know. 

"I'm sorry about what happened. I didn't want to put you in that situation, but saying the truth to them…" he paused for a moment to take a breath. "Wouldn't have been the best idea."

Baekhyun definitely agreed with that. "Yeah, I get it, don't worry."

"I hope you don't get in trouble with your family." 

The smaller smiled sadly at that. "They won't care. Well, maybe my grandma will, but not my parents."

An awkward tension took over after that. "Don't worry, I doubt anything will come out of this. My parents are insisting I…" Chanyeol ran his fingers through his hair at that. "I'm sorry, you don't really care about that, but I'm just really stressed right now." 

Baekhyun felt bad for him and well, yeah, a little heartbroken too. "It's okay, I get it. An arranged marriage with someone you don't like doesn't sound very pleasant to me." 

"You heard that?" Asked Chanyeol with a small smile. 

The smaller shrugged his shoulders. "Walked in just in that moment," he replied. "I'm sorry about that, by the way. I should've left last night after… Yeah."Baekhyun kept his gaze stuck to the table after that, biting his bottom lip. "I don't usually fall asleep after."

Chanyeol chuckled. "It's okay. I don't mind. It was pretty…intense last night." 

Baekhyun blushed at those words, his mind travelling to everything that happened. Intense was an understatement. “I-it was,” he mumbled under his breath. 

Silence fell once again as Baekhyun kept his eyes stuck to the plate in front of him. That was, of course, as he felt Chanyeol’s penetrating gaze on him. Baekhyun had no clue of what the giant could be thinking and, admittedly, felt nervous of finding out too. 

Perhaps that was why he didn’t notice the man moving and jumped when the taller cupped his chin and tilted his face up. “I hadn’t had sex that good in a while,” said Chanyeol with a look in his eyes that made Baekhyun's insides tremble with desire.

Before the smaller could register what was going on, Chanyeol’s lips were on his, kissing him hard the way Baekhyun loved so much. They soon found themselves heading to the bedroom, their lips still attached. 

Clothes were scattered around the floor of the apartment. Moans along with the rhythmic squeak of the bed as they engaged in sexual intercourse once again filling the bedroom. 

++++

Two days after that incident, while Baekhyun sat on the kitchen counter of his small apartment with his laptop in front of him, he received a phone call from his grandmother. 

Sighing, he answered immediately, not wanting to disrespect her in any way. He didn't have time to speak, though, since his grandmother immediately started talking. 

"Baekkie, why didn't you tell me you're dating the youngest son of the Parks?" 

He knew this would happen. After all, he knew that grandma Park and his grandmother shared a friendship that started long before he was born and never once did he doubt the Park elder would contact the Byun lady to inform her about what she saw in Chanyeol's apartment. 

"Well, we haven't been dating for long," he said, feeling bad for lying, but knowing he had no other option if he didn't want to scandalize both women. 

"How long, though? Tell me everything, Baekkie," she said enthusiastically and Baekhyun could imagine her getting comfortable in the luxurious leather couch in the living room of the Byun family mansion. 

Knowing it would be futile to deny her request Baekhyun dived into the story he and Chanyeol had fabricated after the long fucking session they'd engaged in that morning. They knew they would have to lie about the nature of their relationship for the time being at least while their grandmothers got over the situation. 

According to what Baekhyun told her, they'd met at a gathering one month before and had started to catch up since they hadn't seen each other in a while. After that, they'd started to go out on friendly dates until they figured they could see each other in a more serious way. 

His grandmother was fascinated by the tale, "oohing" and "aahing" here and there, a squeal added to the mix when he told her how Chanyeol had asked him to be his boyfriend a week before. It warmed Baekhyun’s heart to know his grandmother felt so excited about it all, and felt a little bad when he realized it was all a lie that would end soon. 

“Ah, Baekkie. I’m so happy! Eunae and I wanted to set you two up, but you decided to move out before we could,” she confessed.

Baekhyun was taken aback by this. “What?”

“Yes, I always thought that boy would be a good match for you. He’s polite, hard working, handsome, and your type, because yes, Byun Baekhyun, I know what type of men you’re interested in.”

Baekhyun acknowledged that, indeed, Chanyeol was his type. Chuckling, Baekhyun told her as much, which prompted her to enthusiastically fuss over the couple a little longer. Baekhyun followed along, hiding as best he could that, despite accepting to be part of this, he couldn’t deny it hurt to know that nothing he was saying was true. After all, in the end, he was just a fuck to Chanyeol and, inevitably, he would come out hurt from all the situation. 

“Baekkie, when are you going to come visit?” Asked his grandmother after a long pause, the overall environment of their conversation taking a darker, heavier undertone. 

Baekhyun’s shoulders fell at that, his eyes closing as he thought about a good enough excuse not to go. "Grandma, I've been really busy with work and-" 

"Ah Baekkie, I'm your grandmother, don't lie to me." 

Baekhyun sighed, knowing all too well this would happen. No matter what excuse he tried to come up with, his grandmother would always know better. "I'm sorry," he replied as he closed his eyes. "It's just that… It's complicated." 

"Baekkie, you're always welcome here," she said, her voice soft and gentle. "We miss having you around." 

" _You_ miss me, grandma. Only you," he replied. 

"That's not true. Your parents do too." 

Baekhyun chuckled at that without humor. "Sure, that wasn't what mom said the last time I talked to her." 

He heard his grandmother sigh and Baekhyun felt bad for upsetting her, but it was the truth and they both knew it. As much as she wanted to make him believe his parents didn’t despise him, they both knew that was a lie. They’d never cared much for him and after the accident, it only got worse.

“It wasn’t your fault, Baekkie,” she muttered, her voice soothing. 

He closed his eyes as a pang of pain ran through his heart at the memory of what had happened… Of what he'd _done_. The guilt still ate him up, even if over twelve years had passed since that fateful night, he was still plagued with an array of negative emotions every time he was reminded of the incident. 

"It was, grandma," he mumbled, his voice thick with emotions he refused to let go of. After all, he had no right to cry, not after what he did. "We both know Baekbeom would still be alive if it wasn't for me." 

"Baekkie, don't say that. It was an accident," she added with a firm voice. 

"An accident that could've been avoided if I hadn't been such a fuck up," he said, his voice raised and a vulgar word slipping past his lips without his control. "It was my fault and everyone knows that, especially mom and dad."

"Baek-" 

"I'm sorry grandma, but I have to go," he rudely cut her off, needing to end the conversation before his emotions became even more of a mess. Without waiting for a reply, he ended the call and buried his face in his hands, forcing himself to keep his emotions in check. 

A couple of tears escaped Baekhyun's eyes, which of course made the brunet feel guilty and pathetic , but he managed to control his emotions before any more of his weaknesses come out. 

After taking a couple of deep breaths, he grabbed his phone and thought about calling one of his earlier hookups. Perhaps a distraction could help him clear his mind if only for a while. He stopped himself, though, knowing it would only make him feel even more pathetic if he did so. 

Instead, he placed his phone down and stood up, heading over to rummage through his cabinets to look for some alcohol. Perhaps that could help him before he continued with his work. He found a bottle of vodka, half full, and deemed it enough. 

With a cup in hand, he sat down in front of his computer again. Then, he turned on a cigarette to try and calm the shakiness in his hands and continued to work. 

Eventually, he'd immersed himself in his work enough to ignore the throbbing in his heart and instead managed to advance some with the web page he was currently working on for a famous shoe company.

He stayed in the same spot, doing the same thing for hours, the vodka in the bottle served onto the cup over spaced out intervals until no more was left and the box of cigarettes slowly being emptied, until sun rays filtered through the living room's window. 

Baekhyun, now alarmed by this, checked the time and sighed at the time. Seven thirty in the morning. Of course, he'd pulled another all-nighter without even realizing. It wasn't the first and it wouldn't be the last time.

Standing up from the chair, he stretched his stiff muscles and winced when his joints cracked. He knew it was bad for his back to sit the way he always did and during the excessive amount of hours he did so, but it was a habit he'd developed since after the incident, and he didn't see himself stopping any time soon. 

Seeing as he had advanced a lot and the due date was still far enough to give him time to finish and to correct mistakes, Baekhyun turned off his computer and decided to go to sleep, even if sleep, elusive to him as always, was hard to reach. 

++++

Baekhyun didn't hear much from anyone apart from Kyungsoo’s constant "did you eat already" texts for around a month. The first contact with the outside world he had was a call from his grandmother. 

"Baekkie, your parents want to have dinner with you and Chanyeol this weekend," she said without even saying hello. 

Baekhyun sighed at her words. "Did you tell them about my relationship?" He asked, feeling a headache settle behind his left eye. 

"Of course I did my darling and they were very happy to know you found someone to take care of you," she said with excitement. 

Baekhyun doubted they were happy with the news. If anything he was sure they would use this as a way to humiliate him and hurt him as they always do. He was already dreading that dinner and what it meant for his arrangement with Chanyeol. 

"Alright, grandma. Just let me know the time and we'll be there" he said, feeling defeated since he knew there was no point in trying to turn down her request. 

Excited, she rambled about everything she had planned and how she knew how happy his parents would be once they saw the man Baekhyun found for himself. According to her, they loved their son dearly and had only ever wanted what was best for him, hence why she'd been so thrilled when his mother decided to plan that dinner. 

By the time the call was over, Baekhyun felt completely drained just at the mere thought of what awaited him. Contrary to his grandmother's wishes, Baekhyun knew exactly what would happen that weekend. He was sure his parents would find ways to humiliate him in front of Chanyeol and of reminding Baekhyun of all his faults and mistakes. 

Still, there was no way to get himself out of it and decided to call Chanyeol. It was around seven at night, so Baekhyun hoped he wasn't disturbing Chanyeol with his call. 

When the taller answered, Baekhyun was left breathless for a moment because, yes, he was talking to the man he loved. He controlled himself, or at least tried. "Hello, Chanyeol, I'm sorry to bother you. I hope you're not busy." 

"Not at all," replied the giant, though he sounded disinterested and slightly annoyed. Baekhyun tried his best to ignore that and continued. 

"U-um well, I was calling because something happened and I needed to ask you for a favor," he said. 

"What is it?" 

"So, my grandmother told my parents about… Us, and now they want us to have dinner at their house this Saturday," he said. "I know this wasn't part of the arrangement, but I-I can't say no to them. "He added and sighed. "If you can't it's okay, really. I'll just explain to them that you couldn't and-"

"Alright, I'll be there. Should I pick you up?" Asked Chanyeol, sounding even more annoyed than before. 

Baekhyun's shoulders sagged at that. "Um, if you don't mind." 

“Okay, see you on Saturday,” and with that, the giant ended the call. 

Baekhyun sighed, feeling his eyes fill with tears because, yes, he knew he’d fucked up everything once again. If only he wasn’t such a disappointment, then everything would be different. Chanyeol wouldn’t be stuck in a fake relationship with him, his parents wouldn’t hate him nearly as much as they did and his brother would be alive. 

All he ever did, since he was born, was complicate other people’s lives. His parents had big expectations for him after having their first born child, who was a prodigy in everything he did. Baekbeom had been excellent academically, in sports, playing instruments and socializing, something that Baekhyun sadly couldn’t compare to. 

He wasn’t bad at those things, per se, but he wasn’t at Baekbeom’s level. He was average, and as such, he was a disappointment to his parents. Baekhyun still worked hard, of course, even if it was never enough. He’d always wanted to prove himself to his parents, he wanted them to see he was capable of being excellent too, but nothing worked. All he ever managed to shine in was playing piano, and even then, there was always someone better than him. 

Eventually, his parents had given up on him. They’d stopped going to his piano recitals and attending school affairs. Baekbeom did whenever he had time, but being much older than Baekhyun, he had many responsibilities that made impossible for him to be present, and the more they grew up, the more distant they became. by the time Baekhyun was sixteen, his relationship with his brother, who was now CEO of their family’s renown company, barely existed. 

Baekhyun closed his eyes as he fell down to the floor as memories hit him once again. Yeah, he was such a disappointment that he’d literally been the cause of his brother’s death. To think that Baekbeom had still so much to offer and live for, a family soon to be formed, a company to run and success just around the corner, and all that had been taken away because of Baekhyun’s selfishness. 

And now he was starting to fuck up Chanyeol's life too. Yeah, their arrangement would end soon enough, but the more their families, and most specifically, the Byuns, got involved, the worst it would be. 

He could only hope that whatever happened would have Chanyeol coming out unscathed. 

++++

Saturday arrived faster than Baekhyun would've liked, the nerves having kept intensifying with every day that passed by. By the time he woke up to that fateful day, he felt drained and anxious. 

Still, Baekhyun forced himself to go about his day like he wasn't dying inside. He managed to work during the morning before going out to buy some groceries and then, one hour before Chanyeol had said he would arrive, Baekhyun decided to get ready. 

Of course, since he would be seeing his parents, he went for a nice, elegant attire. He donned a black turtleneck and a pair of khaki pants, a pair of black, dress shoes and an expensive watch he got as a gift from his grandmother. And to add the final touch, he styled his black hair up, leaving his forehead uncovered for once. 

Once ready, he stared at himself in the mirror and eventually lost himself in time, his mind focused on the fear of what the evening had stored for him. Only the ring of his phone managed to pull him out of his thoughts. 

_I'm outside_

-Chanyeol 

Baekhyun shook his head as he stared at himself in the mirror a moment more. "Calm down, Baekhyun. Everything's going to be okay" he told himself out loud before leaving, knowing that no pep talk would make the turmoil of emotions in his heart settle down. 

After he deemed himself ready, he grabbed a jacket and his phone and headed to the first floor of his apartment building, continuing to try to calm himself as much as he could. Sadly, the closer he got to Chanyeol’s car at the front, the more nervous he became. Still, he tried to school his emotions and made sure to smile at the giant once he settled on the passenger seat of his Mercedes. 

“Hi,” he said, keeping his smile in place.

Chanyeol smiled slightly and returned the greeting before starting the car. The ride was silent with only the sound of Coldplay in the background. Baekhyun wanted to speak to Chanyeol, maybe hold a conversation to try to get the nerves out of his system, but everytime he opened his mouth, nothing came out. Chanyeol didn’t seem eager to speak to him either, so in the end, Baekhyun ended up giving up on on that idea and instead stared outside the window, seeing the streets of the city soon turn into the tail tale signs of the neighborhood he grew up in, mansions and expensive cars all that filled his vision. 

By the time they stopped in front of the Byun Mansion, the dread inside his heart had intensified to the highest of levels. He followed Chanyeol when he stepped out of the car and silently, they held each other’s hands and headed over to the front door.

Baekhyun rang the bell and the pair waited until the butler opened. 

"Welcome," said the old man with a kind smile. 

Baekhyun felt tears well in his eyes. "Mr. Kim, i-it's been a while." 

The man bowed as his smile widened, the skin at the corner of his eyes crinkling. "It's good to see you again, Mr. Baekhyun."

Baekhyun smiled at that, trying his best to control himself. The old man had always treated him well and pampered him as much as he could.

If anything, he'd been more of a father figure than his own father had ever been. 

The man led them down the hallway and towards the living room, Chanyeol and Baekhyun silent as they followed behind. Baekhyun held on tightly to Chanyeol’s hand, trying to ground himself and weirdly enough, Chanyeol returned the gesture briefly, though his expression when Baekhyun turned to look at him didn’t change.

At the living room, Baekhyun took a deep breath and sat down on one of the white leather couches, chanyeol doing the same and taking a spot next to him. they didn’t say anything as they waited for Baekhyun’s family. Instead, Baekhyun studied his surroundings, noting how nothing seemed to have changed in the months since the last time he was there. 

Even though he grew up in that place, it made dread settle in his heart. That had never been home to him. It had always been cold, lonely, empty. Memories filled his mind, nicer ones from back when Baekbeom was still around and things were nicer for him. That was, of course, until the uglier ones appeared, of screams and words of degradation thrown at him taking over his mind. 

He felt his hands start to shake, so he closed his eyes and told himself to breathe. He couldn’t show any weakness in front of Chanyeol. If his parents or grandmother saw him breakdown, it wouldn’t matter since they’d seen him like that before, but Chanyeol hadn't in _years_ and he wanted to keep it that way. 

Eventually, around fifteen minutes later, the older Byun ensemble walked into the living. Grandma Byun immediately rushed over to Baekhyun, who had stood up already, and wrapped him in her arms. He returned the gesture, burying his face in her neck like he’d down since he could remember, and held her tightly in his arms. Her perfume, that smelled like roses, made his aching heart relax instantly. She’d always been his safe place. 

Then, she moved on to greet Chanyeol, gushing over him and making him blush in the process. Baekhyun felt his heart skip several beats at the sight, but soon controlled himself and instead turned to look at his parents, who were staring at him with disdain.

“So you actually came,” said his father, a scowl on his features as he studied Baekhyun’s appearance.

“You’ve gained weight, haven't you? You look worse than usual,” added his mother. “I’ve told you before that you need to take better care of your appearance.”

Baekhyun felt the venom in her words sip through his veins. If only she knew that he had actually _lost_ weight like she’d asked him to, but of course, he’d always been below her expectations, even when it came to his appearance 

“I’m sorry mother,” he apologized as he lowered his head, knowing that nothing he told her would make her see him in a different light. 

“I’ll tell the maids to serve less food for you. Wouldn’t want you to eat excessively as you always do,” she added with a sneer.

Thankfully, Chanyeol and his grandmother seemed too immersed in their conversation to pay attention to what was going on. Baekhyun didn't want Chanyeol to know exactly just how worthless he truly was. 

After his parents greeted Chanyeol politely, they all headed to the dining room. His father took the seat at the head of the table with his mother to one side and grandma Byun next to her while Baekhyun and Chanyeol sat across from them. The maids filed in and lay the plates of food in front of each one of them before filling their glasses with wine. 

“Serve Baekhyun less. He needs to lose weight,” said Mrs. Byun as the maids started to leave. “Can’t have him getting any fatter than he already is.”

Baekhyun felt his face grow hot at her words, his hands trembling as his heart started to beat faster. 

One of the maids took his plate and hurried out of the room. Silence prevailed after that, his parents digging into their food like nothing happened. He didn’t want to see the look in Chanyeol’s eyes, though, too ashamed to think that Chanyeol had to hear comments like that be made about him. 

The maid soon brought his food over and he felt his heart drop at the amount. The maid looked at him apologetically and Baekhyun smiled at her reassuringly, trying to appease any possible guilt she could feel. After all, she had to follow orders and he wasn’t about to begrudge her that. 

Dinner went by slower than Baekhyun would’ve liked, though at least conversation had settled nicely. He didn’t take part, though, knowing how much his parents hated it whenever he opened his mouth. According to them, he was ignorant and dumb, so any comments he made were never welcomed. 

“You look better with your mouth shut,” his father would often say. “Perhaps like that _someone_ would deem you worthy enough to at least bed you.”

Baekhyun had followed that advice perfectly through the years, keeping his words to a minimum whenever he met someone and indeed, that seemed to turn on whoever was fucking him for the night. 

“...Baekhyun here was never fit to run the company, Chanyeol. That’s why Hyunjae preferred to train his nephew for the role…” Baekhyun heard his mother say at one point. He felt the embarrassment intensify at that because, no, he’d never wanted Chanyeol to hear that. If anything, he would’ve preferred for Chanyeol to never find out just how much of a failure he was.

“Baekbeom’s death was a hit to the family, and knowing that Baekhyun was at fa-”

“Jisoo, I think that’s enough,” said grandma Byun with a stern voice. 

Baekhyun didn’t even bother to look up from the half-eaten plate of food in front of him, knowing this was how things always went in their household. That didn’t stop him from feeling nauseous, though. 

“You’re always defending him, mother,” said Mr. Byun. “Chanyeol here should know about this if he’s dating Baekhyun.”

Grandma Byun sighed at that. “That’s for Baekhyun to decide, not you.”

“It is our business because his actions directly repercute on the family’s reputation,” said Mrs Byun. “And he’s shamed us enough as it is.”

“Don’t say that! He’s always worked hard and stayed out of trouble! Don’t offen-”

“Mother, that’s enough,” snapped Mr. Byun. 

“C-can we leave?” Baekhyun asked Chanyeol in a murmur. “Please.”

Baekhyun didn’t raise his head to meet Chanyeol’s eyes, not wanting to see the possible disdain in them. 

“Sure,” replied Chanyeol in the same tone of voice. 

The raised voices of Baekhyun’s family, though, made it impossible for them to excuse themselves, which was only making Baekhyun feel worse. He could feel his heart starting to beat way too fast as his breathing accelerated its pace. 

“C-Can you please stop?” murmured Baekhyun, but they didn’t hear. Their voices only continue to rise in volume and Baekhyun, tired of the situation, stood up and hit the table with his hands. “Please stop it already!”

The three older Byun’s stared at him wide eyed, finally silent. “Stop fighting, please,” he said as he felt the dizziness from before take over him slowly. “It’s always the same shit with all of you,” he added, forgoing all formal language and respect. “And I’m tired of it.”

He moved, ready to leave, but the dizziness became too much and, before he knew it, he was falling to the ground, his vision turning dark.

++++

When he came back to it, he was in an unfamiliar room that smelled too clean, with white walls and lights too bright for his eyes. He closed his eyes again for a moment and groaned at the throbbing headache he had.

“Baekhyun,” he heard a familiar voice ask. 

Baekhyun’s eyes immediately opened at that. “Ch-Chanyeol?” He asked as he tried, and failed, to sit up. 

Chanyeol grabbed a control from the side of the bed and pressed a button so the top part of the bed raised to a position that could be comfortable to Baekhyun.

“What happened?” Asked Baekhyun as he tried to make sense of what was going on. 

“We were at your parents house and you fainted,” said the taller as he took a seat next to the bed on a chair that looked rather uncomfortable. “Your grandmother went to get something to drink with her driver. They should be back soon.”

Baekhyun nodded as he stared at his hands. Chanyeol didn’t say anything either and they remained silent for what felt like hours, though Baekhyun knew it was only minutes. By the time the doctor stepped inside the room with grandma Byun, Baekhyun felt like saying anything as long as the tense silence was over.

“Oh, you're awake,” said grandma Byun when she noticed Baekhyun’s open eyes and immediately rushed to his side.

“Hello Mr. Byun, I’m doctor Seo,” said the young lady. “We ran some some tests to look for a possible cause to the fainting episode you suffered this evening and the results-”

Grandma Byun, never one known to like being kept in the dark for long, interrupted her. “What did they say? Is he okay?”

The doctor smiled brightly. “Congratulations Mr. Byun, you’re pregnant,” she said.

Baekhyun felt all breath leave his lungs at that. He instantly tuned her out, not being to follow along with whatever she was saying about his health. 

He couldn’t believe her, no. It couldn’t be. He couldn’t be pregnant! He’d always been careful, he’d always made sure to take his contraceptive pills and to use a condom. How was it possible?

Until he remembered...of course, he’d just changed the pills he was using as they’d been giving him unpleasant side-effects when he slept with Chanyeol...and they hadn’t used a condom.

“Baekkie?” Asked his grandma. Baekhyun barely registered her words as he met her eyes. He noticed the tears in her eyes, as well as the giddy smile on her lips. “Baekkie!”

Baekhyun doesn’t know how to react before finally looking at Chanyeol, who looked anything but happy with the entire outcome. Though his face was mostly unreadable, the venom in his eyes was enough to let Baekhyun know that, yes, he’d fucked up. 

Baekhyun opted no to say anything to him and instead focused on his grandma, who by that point was crying in his arms “I’m going to be a great grandmother,” she said, the joy in her eyes so evident that for a moment, Baekhyun’s aching heart felt at ease.

“Grandma?” He murmured. 

He felt tears in his eyes at her excitement and held her tightly. His eyes, though, remained glued to Chanyeol’s, who was looking at him coldly and Baekhyun knew that he’d fucked up...big time.

And this time around there was no way to fix it.

++++

Later that afternoon, after Baekhyun had managed to get his crying grandmother to leave with her driver, he found himself in Chanyeol’s car. They were both silent, Baekhyun not feeling brave enough to speak up about the big revelation and Chanyeol clearly still upset, though his unreadable expression revealed nothing to him. 

By the time they reached Baekhyun’s apartment building, Baekhyun felt like he was suffocating. How could he be so careless? As usual, he’d been too useless when taking care of himself and in the end, dragged Chanyeol into a mess. 

He didn’t say anything as he stepped out of the car and wasn’t even surprised when Chanyeol followed after him. Baekhyun new they had stuff to discuss and Chanyeol had never been one to run away from his problems either. 

Nerves started to take over Baekhyun, but he tried his best to keep them at bay as he led the way, feeling Chanyeol’s cold stare on the back of his head. He felt dread at what they were about to discuss, but he knew it was better for them to do so already instead of waiting until the mess became bigger… not that Baekhyun saw any way they could possibly get out of it. After all, he was _pregnant_ , which was a big deal in itself. 

Once inside his apartment, Baekhyun went over to the living room and fidgeted, trying his best to find the correct words to start the conversation, but knowing none. 

“L-look Ch-Chanyeo-”

“We can’t have a baby together,” said the giant, his features cold and his voice hard.

Baekhyun, of course, knew this. “I-I know, but my grandma-”

“I’m not having a baby with you,” said Chanyeol, his voice firm and determined.

Baekhyun knew he shouldn’t take his words to heart, but he couldn’t help it. Not when he knew Chanyeol had every right to say those words. After all, their relationship was a simple arrangement and the sex they had was supposed to stay at that. 

“W-what do you want me to do?” Asked Baekhyun, unsure of what solution there was to their situation.

“Just…” Chanyeol stared at Baekhyun for a moment, his jaw clenched before he turned around and gripped his hair. “Nothing, we can’t do anything.”

Baekhyun knew this to be true. If his grandmother didn’t already know, they could’ve considered abortion, but that wasn’t possible any more. If anything, it wouldn’t surprise Baekhyun if both his and Chanyeol’s family found out before the end of the night. 

“I-I’m sorry,” mumbled Baekhyun, his voice thick with unshed tears. “I’m so sorry.”

Chanyeol didn’t say anything. Instead, he simply sighed and sat down on the couch. “I never wanted to have children. I've always wanted to be free, to go out, travel and be successful. I didn't want this,” he said, sounding defeated, his body language portraying that exactly with the way his shoulders had fallen and his face remained facing the floor. 

Baekhyun felt Chanyeol’s words stab his heart, but he knew he had no right. Even if he’d been in love with Chanyeol for a long time, he understood that Chanyeol had never looked at him that way, if any way at all. In fact, their relationship had always been amicable, and that was as far as it went. 

Chanyeol didn’t love him and he never would. 

“I’m sorry,” was all Baekhyun could reply, his voice broken with each letter that went past his lips. 

Chanyeol didn’t reply and instead stood up. “I’ll talk to my grandmother,” he said before he walked towards the front door. Baekhyun heard the door open and close and once he was sure he was alone, he allowed his tears to slip.

Once again, he’d ruined someone else’s life. First, his family’s, then he’d ended Baekbeom’s life and now this. When would he stop being a burden for everyone? When would he stop being a nuisance? 

He felt tired, exhausted in fact. He was so done being so worthless and stupid. 

Finally allowing his tears to fall, Baekhyun sat on the couch and buried his face in his hands, his shoulders shaking from the force of his sobs. 

++++

Later that night, Baekhyun found himself at the end of Kyungsoo’s enraged words, feeling worse than before. 

"What were you thinking?! Baekhyun, you're smarter than this. A fake relationship with the guy you've been...infatuated with since always?" 

Baekhyun lowered his head in shame, understanding that, yeah, Kyungsoo was right to be upset. 

"And now you're having a _baby_ with him?!" 

"I-I know I fucked up-" 

"Fucked up is an understatement! You're having a baby with a man that doesn-" Kyungsoo stopped himself there, but it was too late, Baekhyun knew what he was going to say.

Sighing, Kyungsoo took a seat next to Baekhyun. "Look, you know I love you, but your life choices have always been… Questionable. You don't know how to take care of yourself and now you're having a baby with a man that…" 

"A man that doesn't love me, I know," whispered Baekhyun, his head still lowered.

"And he doesn't like children. He's always been vocal about it. That's why this is so unexpected to me. I expected both of you to be more careful." 

Baekhyun's lips trembled at that as he tried his best to keep his emotions in check. "It was my fault. I should've remembered the condom." 

"Chanyeol should've too," Kyungsoo was quick to add. "It was as much his responsibility as it was yours." 

Baekhyun didn't reply to that, a part of him knowing he was right, but a bigger part calling bullshit on that. 

It was his fault, he knew it. He was useless and dumb anyway, he'd brought the situation to them both, he'd put Chanyeol in an irreparable situation. 

"I-I'm sorry," he muttered as the words came out stuttered. 

"Why are you apologizing, Baek?" Asked Kyungsoo as he rubbed Baekhyun's back gently.

"Cuz I'm so stupid," he murmured, his face now buried in his hands to hide the tears running down his cheeks. "I always fuck up and end up disappointing everyone."

"You're not stupid, Baek," said Kyungsoo with a soft, comforting yet firm voice. "It was a mistake. It can happen to anyone."

Baekhyun wanted to believe those words so badly, but his rotten thoughts were much stronger than Kyungsoo’s words. As such, he felt the urge to cry harder, but he felt too embarrassed to do so in front of his best friend. He was unworthy of Kyungsoo’s comfort, he didn't deserve him and his kind words. 

He deserved _nothing_. 

"I-I'm sorry, Soo, but I want to be alone," whispered Baekhyun as he stood up, his face still facing the floor as he made his way toward his bedroom, feeling rude for leaving Kyungsoo like that. 

As expected, Kyungsoo didn't follow and Baekhyun was thankful. His best friend knew him well enough to understand that Baekhyun's actions, albeit impolite, only meant he _needed_ the alone time. 

He still felt lonely, though, and hurt. He was exhausted from the way life had turned out for him. 

He knew no one was flawless, but _he_ took the price for the most moronic human in existence. Every decision he ever made brought negative consequences not only to himself, but to everyone around him too. 

Would he ever stop being so damn problematic? Was there a way for him to fix every single thing he fucked up in his life? 

He wished for a positive answer, but deep down he knew that wasn't the case. If anything, the answer would always be no. 

And there was nothing he could do about it. 

++++

The following days were a mess and Baekhyun felt trapped. His grandmother had told both his and Chanyeol's family about the pregnancy, just as both men had expected. As such, Baekhyun was soon flooded with calls and messages from his parents - ho didn't fail to point out he would be a horrible parent- to his extended family who all wanted the most recent piece of gossip about him. 

He'd replied at first to be polite, but eventually, it all took a toll on him and he opted to ignore everyone. The emotional toll, accompanied by the morning sickness and every other symptom that came with pregnancy, made him isolate himself from everyone. 

Like he did whenever he felt too overwhelmed, he isolated himself in his apartment. 

He had enough instant ramyeon to last him a lifetime anyway, so with that, he stayed inside his living space with his computer turned on in front of him and his phone off. He didn't want to hear from anyone because their words and morbid curiosity would only continue to make the overwhelming emotions in his mind grow. 

Kyungsoo would usually barge into his apartment after the first day of isolation, but considering their conversation the last time they spoke, Baekhyun wasn't surprised he hadn't been around. After all, Kyungsoo better than anyone knew how Baekhyun was whenever he was upset. 

Of course, his loneliness was disturbed, but not by Kyungsoo as it always happened. 

It was a Friday morning in February, of those after Baekhyun spent an entire night glued to his computer with a cup of juice (he couldn't drink alcohol now) and bags of gummy bears (he couldn't smoke either) next to him. 

As always, he'd been unaware of his surroundings and time had slipped by in the blink of an eye and, before he knew it, he'd stayed up until the sun came out. And as usual, he didn't bother with going to sleep, knowing that he wouldn't be able to get a wink of sleep and if he did, his rest would be haunted by nightmares. 

All in all, he looked like a zombie at eleven a.m.

And it was around that time that someone knocked on the door. 

Sighing, he got up from the table and took a moment to breathe when a wave of nausea took over. He stayed still for a moment as another knock came and moved only when he was sure he wouldn't throw up or collapse. 

What he didn't expect was to see his grandmother once he opened the door, with grandma Park and Chanyeol behind her. 

"Baekkie, why haven't you answered any of my phone calls?" She asked upset as she barged into his apartment uninvited. 

Baekhyun sighed, expecting the scolding he was about to receive. 

Not wanting to seem rude, he greeted grandma Park before motioning for her to enter and barely looked at Chanyeol, who was studying him with an unreadable expression. 

Inside, both old ladies had taken a seat on the living room couch as grandma Byun studied her surroundings with distaste. 

"Baekkie, you need to clean this place! It's a mess," she said with frown. 

He didn't take offense to her words since he knew she was right. He knew he needed to clean, but with how emotionally drained he felt all the time, he could barely complete his work projects, much less clean his apartment. 

He didn't tell her that, though, afraid of worrying her unnecessarily. Instead, he nodded in acknowledgement and replied that he would do just that later. 

"It won't be necessary," she said. "You'll move in with Chanyeol today." 

Baekhyun's eyes widened at that as his heart started to beat erratically. He met Chanyeol's eyes, trying to look for some sort of explanation, but in return he got nothing. 

"What do you mean?" He decided to ask out loud. 

"Your grandmother and I figured it would be better if you moved in with Channie now that you're expecting a baby. And of course, my grandson agreed," said grandma Park with a soft smile on her lips. 

Baekhyun knew Chanyeol didn't agree because he wanted to. In his mind, Baekhyun knew how Chanyeol truly felt about him and Baekhyun wasn't delusional enough to believe otherwise. 

Ashamed of how things had turned out to be in the end, Baekhyun couldn't turn to look at Chanyeol. He knew he'd fucked up and that simple mistake was growing out of his control and ruining someone else's life on its way. 

Both ladies continued to discuss their plan, mentioning that Chanyeol would help him pack so he could move in with him immediately. That only mortified Baekhyun more. He didn't say anything, though, and neither did the giant. They both knew it would be futile to try to go against their grandmothers' wishes. 

In the end, Baekhyun simply complied to their wishes and wasn't even surprised when the ladies sent Chanyeol back to his car to pick up the cardboard boxes they'd gotten for him. 

He didn't even protest when they started to pack his belongings without a care in the world. He did run and took care of the bedroom, though. He wouldn't want them to find his lube and small box of toys. Chanyeol sent him a knowing look, though, once he saw how Baekhyun tried his best to hide the box from the old ladies' view. 

With an amused glint in his eyes -which made Baekhyun's heart skip a beat- Chanyeol leaned close to his ear as he grabbed the box. "I'll hide it in the car before they see it," he whispered, his breath hitting the smaller's ear and making him shiver in the process. 

When he pulled back, the amusement had reached his lips too, a small smile pulling at the corner of his lips as he studied Baekhyun's flushed cheeks. He didn't say anything as he took the box from the smaller's hands and turned around to leave. 

"Aw you two are adorable!" Exclaimed grandma Byun as she leaned her head against Baekhyun's shoulder dreamily. "I'm so happy he's in your life now, Baekkie."

Baekhyun smiled softly at that. "Me too," he said, though deep down he knew it was all an illusion. After all, he meant nothing to Chanyeol. He was simply a nuisance, a burden. 

The rest of the afternoon they continued packing until everything was packed - which admittedly, wasn't much since Baekhyun had stopped bothering with collecting personal items after Baekbeom's death. Chanyeol took the boxes to the car and when Baekhyun tried to help, the three people with him immediately stopped him. 

"You can't carry heavy stuff in your condition," said grandma Park. 

Baekhyun sighed as his own grandmother and Chanyeol nodded in agreement before the giant stepped out of the apartment with one of the boxes. He continued to watch as Chanyeol did so and noticed how tired he looked after a while. 

Worried, Baekhyun rushed over to the kitchen and grabbed a water bottle he had stored in the refrigerator. 

"Here," he said as he handed it over to the giant, who was about to grab another box. 

Chanyeol smiled and thanked him before he took it. Then, Baekhyun went to sit on the couch, starting to feel drowsy from the lack of sleep. He closed his eyes and leaned back, getting comfortable as he heard their grandmothers speaking enthusiastically. He didn't register their words, though, as he soon fell asleep. 

Memories of the past filled his mind. His own screams filled his senses as he saw his brother's lifeless form… His face full of blood… 

He woke up with a start, feeling his skin dampened with cold sweat as his heart beat erratically in his chest. He took deep breaths as he looked around in panic, his mind still stuck in the memories of what happened that fateful night so many years before.

“Hey, Baekkie, just breathe,” murmured his grandma soothingly as she ran her fingers through his soft hair. 

That helped ground him as he slowly came back to his senses, his mind finally realizing he was in his apartment -well, soon to be former, it seemed- and slowly finding the will to calm down. Wordlessly, his grandmother ran her thumbs on his cheeks in soothing circles, wiping away the tears he now realized had started to fall. 

"My precious Baekkie, you're safe now," she added, the tightness in her voice obvious to Baekhyun. He didn't comment on it, though, still distraught by the contents of his dream, and instead buried his face in her shoulder and held her tightly. 

She continued running her fingers through his hair as he continued to tremble in her arms, silent tears running down his cheeks in the process. 

He didn't know how long they remained like that, but it didn't matter, not when his grandmother's care was soothing his aching heart. 

Since Baekbeom's death, only two people cared about him: his grandmother and Kyungsoo, and while he believed he didn't deserve them, he was grateful to have them. Without them, who knew what would've been of him. 

By the time he'd calmed down, Chanyeol and his grandmother had gotten back with bags of food in their hands. Neither commented on his disheveled looks or tear-stained cheeks, though he noticed the worry in grandma Park’s eyes. 

They ate at the dining table, both grandmothers striking a conversation that Baekhyun couldn't be bothered to pay attention to, his mind still foggy after the memories that hit him. In fact, he was so out of it he didn't realize when he finished his food… Or the looks Chanyeol kept throwing at him every other second, a light of worry in his eyes. 

By the time they were all done, Baekhyun felt exhausted, the lack of sleep plus the pregnancy jitters now joined by sadness and tiredness of a different kind. 

He took his phone and his bag containing his laptop when his grandmother announced it was time to go. He walked towards the door and didn't look back as he left, not having any sort of emotional attachment to the cold living space his parents had gotten him years before, believing he was too stupid to choose a proper place to live in. 

Once in the car, he settled in the backseat next to his grandmother and closed his eyes. He didn't fall asleep, though, not this time. He couldn't, not after what happened in the living room. 

Instead, he tried his best to quiet his mind down and numb his feelings in the process. He couldn't afford to worry anyone else over his pathetic existence. 

++++

At Chanyeol's apartment, Baekhyun remained silent as the giant carried the boxes inside. 

When they arrived after dropping both grandmothers off at their respective homes, Chanyeol had asked Baekhyun to relax. Baekhyun had tried to as he sat on the living room couch, but it was hard, especially with the conversation he knew was coming. 

He waited in silence as he watched Chanyeol walk down the hallway, the last box, the one with Baekhyun's toys, in his arms. Baekhyun blushed at that, still embarrassed over how Chanyeol had figured out what it contained. 

His embarrassment disappeared, though, once Chanyeol sat down on the couch in front of him and sighed. He didn't say anything, though, and Baekhyun figured it would be best to do the same. After all, he didn't know _how_ to express the emotions he was feeling over their current circumstances. 

"Look," said Chanyeol at last. "I know this is… Weird. You suddenly moving in with me and everything wasn't part of our plan, but you know our grandmothers, I couldn't say no to them."

Baekhyun nodded as he looked up to meet Chanyeol's eyes. "I understand, don't worry."

Chanyeol studied him for a moment before nodding. "Okay, good, yeah."

The smaller bit his bottom lip as he looked down at his lap, unsure of what to say next. 

"We'll have to share my bedroom and leave the empty one f-for our…" Chanyeol trailed off and cleared his throat. "Our child. The women in my family have a habit of barging into my apartment uninvited every other day and waking me up and us sleeping in different rooms would be…well yeah. Hope you don't mind."

Baekhyun shook his head. "Not at all," he said. He actually didn't mind, but the problem would be his nightmares. He could only hope they didn't become a problem for Chanyeol and didn't disturb his sleep or anything. 

"Alright then. I prepared a space in my closet for your clothes and you can leave your stuff in the empty bedroom for now until we figure out everything else."

Baekhyun only nodded at that, feeling guilty over the way Chanyeol had to accommodate to him so suddenly. He felt ashamed, honestly. He didn't say anything, though. He felt like he didn't deserve to speak up or to ask for forgiveness over the mess he got both of them in. 

In the end, he spent the afternoon in the vacant room, putting away his stuff, opting to keep most in the boxes in neat piles to one side. He felt too ashamed to even properly fix everything. 

If only things were different. If only he'd remembered about the damn condom, Chanyeol wouldn't be stuck with him. 

If only… 

++++

The following days were very much the same as always, with Baekhyun spending most of his days and nights sat in the kitchen table working diligently on his computer, eating gummy bears to keep himself from smoking (though the temptation was starting to become too strong) and drinking water. 

Chanyeol, on the other hand, spent most of his time out, working and going out at night. 

All in all, their routine was the same and the only time they really interacted was when they went to bed, if they even crossed paths before the other was already asleep. 

Chanyeol wasn't cruel in anyway, but he was detached and indifferent, barely even acknowledging Baekhyun's existence. Still, Baekhyun noticed many things about the giant, like how tired he looked every time he arrived from work, or how he always ended up eating something meager for breakfast because he always overslept, or how little he ate each night for dinner. 

As such, Baekhyun took it upon himself to cook for him. While he'd never been one to cook for himself much while he lived alone, he knew how to get by in the kitchen thanks to his grandmother. 

Every morning, he got up right before Chanyeol got inside the shower and prepared him a hefty breakfast, never forgetting a nice cup of hot coffee and fresh orange juice made by Baekhyun himself. 

The first time Chanyeol saw Baekhyun finishing up, his eyes showed shock and a thank you was mumbled as Baekhyun set everything on the table. After that, though, no other words were exchanged. Every morning, Baekhyun woke up early and prepared breakfast while Chanyeol got ready and every morning, Baekhyun received a thank you and a small smile in return. 

It was similar for their nights. Baekhyun would calculate at what time Chanyeol could possibly arrive and would start preparing dinner an hour before, going all out and filling the table with quality food and fruit juices made from scratch. 

The nights Chanyeol _did_ go home, he would always be impressed and would thank Baekhyun, but that was as far as it went. Baekhyun wouldn't usually join him, feeling like he would be intruding if he did, and Chanyeol never asked him to do so either. 

There were nights, though, when Chanyeol didn't go home, especially on Fridays. The first few weeks it happened Baekhyun was disappointed since he'd worked hard to get the food ready, he'd wanted to continue impressing the giant. He eventually understood, though, and refrained from cooking those nights. 

Their routine went on like that and Baekhyun wasn't even surprised when Chanyeol didn't accompany him to his first doctor's appointment. 

Well, Baekhyun didn't even tell him about it, so Chanyeol couldn't be blamed. The smaller figured Chanyeol would be too busy and preferred not to bother him. 

In fact, he didn't tell anyone. After Yoora, Chanyeol's older sister, gave him the contact information of her gynecologist, he made an appointment and went by himself, using public transportation to get there. 

As expected, his health condition wasn't the best, considering his deplorable eating habits or the fact that he had a problem with drinking a little too much alcohol and smoking cigarettes. 

After getting an ultrasound done and the necessary supplements, Baekhyun left the doctor's office in a daze. 

He didn't realize when he was back at Chanyeol's penthouse, his mind foggy as he walked down the busy streets of the city and rode the bus accordingly. 

He sat in the living room couch and stared at the ultrasound he got done. The doctor had explained to him where the fetus, barely the size of a bean, was. His mind was still trying to process the information, and by the time he actually realized it was real, that in his hand he had yet another confirmation that he was indeed pregnant, tears had started to stream down his cheeks. 

He was really pregnant, he was really going to have a baby with a man that he loved, but that didn't love him back. 

Would he ruin the baby's lives the way he'd ruined everyone else's? Would the baby suffer because of him the way everyone around him did every day? 

Waves of fear hit him suddenly, traveling through his body in uncontrollable waves that started to take over him. 

He lost track of time and space as all he could think about was how the baby in his womb was doomed. Fate had played them dirty, had ruined their live before they even had a chance to start living it. 

The thought broke Baekhyun's heart and for a moment he considered giving them a way out. What if he could end their suffering before it started? Wouldn't that be the best for them? 

He was so out of it, so focused on his erratic emotions, on the accelerated beat of his heart and on the stream of endless tears he was shedding that he didn't register the front door opening or the sound of a deep voice calling out his name for the first time since they moved in together. 

It wasn't until he felt a pair of warm hands cupping his cheeks and a soothing voice whispering soft words of comfort that he realized that he wasn't alone anymore. 

"Hey Baekhyun, breathe," murmured Chanyeol as his thumbs ran soothing circles on his cheeks. 

Baekhyun tried his best to concentrate on Chanyeol and to follow the giant's instructions to try to calm down. 

"Breathe deeply, yeah? Follow my lead," he said and Baekhyun did as he asked, focusing on Chanyeol's breathing pattern and following along. 

"Very good, you're doing great," said Chanyeol with a small smile. 

Baekhyun closed his eyes as he felt the last remnants of his previous behavior leave his body and exhaustion invade his body instead. 

"Now, will you tell me what happened?" Asked the giant, pulling Baekhyun out of his reverie. 

Still, Baekhyun kept his eyes closed, feeling shame take over him over having Chanyeol see him in such a distraught state. 

"It's… Nothing," he murmured. 

Chanyeol didn't look convinced, but that didn't deter Baekhyun. He didn't want to burden the giant with his over thinking. 

Chanyeol sighed."Alright, I get it," he replied before he looked down and instantly furrowed his eyebrows. "What's that?" 

Baekhyun followed his line of sight and realized Chanyeol noticed the ultrasound in his hand. Gulping, Baekhyun considered hiding it from him, but thought better about it. Despite everything, he had no right to deny Chanyeol of seeing their baby. 

"Um… I went to the doctor today," replied Baekhyun as he handed the ultrasound over. 

Chanyeol took it and studied it for a moment, his face turning blank. Baekhyun bit his bottom lip, fidgeting as he waited for Chanyeol to say something, even if it was hurtful. 

"This is going to sound horrible, but I don't see anything," said the giant as he frowned, bringing the ultrasound closer to his eyes and squinting. 

Baekhyun found the sight endearing and couldn't stop the small smile that spread across his lips. "The doctor said they're around here," said Baekhyun as he got closer, his hand showing Chanyeol where he had to look. 

Chanyeol followed his instructions. "I-Is this it?" asked Chanyeol, pointed to a specific spot. 

Baekhyun nodded. "Yeah." 

Chanyeol's mouth formed an "o" shape as his eyes started to shine in wonder. "They look like a bean." 

Baekhyun's smile widened at that. "Yeah, they do."

The giant met Baekhyun’s gaze then. "Did anyone go with you to the appointment?" 

Baekhyun bit his bottom lip and lowered his gaze. "Um, no. I went by myself," he replied. "I didn't want to bother anyone," he added in a low murmur. 

"Oh, I see," replied Chanyeol as he kept staring at the ultrasound. "My family's going to freak out when they see this." 

"I actually got some copies for them," said Baekhyun as he grabbed the envelope he'd placed next to himself on the couch. "There's enough for your mom, grandmother and sister...a-and you, if you want one too."

Chanyeol checked the envelope. "Wow, thank you," he said. "What about your grandma?" 

"I already have one saved for her," replied Baekhyun with a small smile. 

They stared at each other then, the air around them shifting the longer their eyes stayed glued. Baekhyun didn't understand what was going on, he couldn't pinpoint why his heart was racing so fast, or why his stomach was a mess of butterflies. The look in Chanyeol's eyes was unreadable and it was driving him crazy.

Their moment was broken, though, when Chanyeol's cellphone went off. The giant immediately checked it and replied to the text. 

"I'm sorry, I just came by to change before heading out," he said as he stood up, not even spearing Baekhyun a glance.

Baekhyun followed him with his eyes as he hurried down the hall, his hands still typing fast on the phone. Once he was out of sight, Baekhyun sighed. 

It was a Friday, of course Chanyeol would go out. He always did. Baekhyun knew _what_ he would be doing and he didn't blame him. 

The smaller didn't know if Chanyeol had someone or simply sought out the company of strangers. Either way, he could only hope he was careful and took care of himself. 

Even if it hurt, Baekhyun never forgot what his relationship with Chanyeol was like. They were nothing more than roommates having a baby together. They weren't friends, much less lovers… 

With tears in his eyes, he sighed and stood up. He figured he could prepare himself something to eat, even though he wasn't hungry. 

When Chanyeol came out of the bedroom, Baekhyun noticed how handsome he looked. Not that he never did, per se, but Baekhyun could tell he'd put some effort in getting ready. 

Yeah, he was definitely looking for a fling that night. And it hurt Baekhyun alot, even if he had no right. 

"I'll be going now," said Chanyeol as he glanced at Baekhyun for a moment. "Bye."

Baekhyun only smiled as a reply before he turned around and continued to tinker with the utensils in front of him. 

Once he heard the front door close, though, he gave up on preparing anything for himself. He was drained from all energy after the breakdown he had anyway, and the last thing he could think about was eating anything. 

With tears in his eyes, overwhelmed by the sadness and the guilt that only continued to grow with each passing day, he headed over to the bedroom and lay down. 

Hours passed, his eyes still open, but his heart breaking further. He was used to it. Life had taught him that pain was all he deserved anyway. 

++++

Time went by, and by month four of his pregnancy, Baekhyun felt like not much had changed apart from his living arrangements. 

Chanyeol was still the same, always polite, but never going further than that. Baekhyun couldn't complain, though. Chanyeol had been nicer than expected despite their circumstances. Even when the nagging from Chanyeol family or Baekhyun's grandmother became too overbearing, Chanyeol never once showed a sign of annoyance or anger at Baekhyun. 

If anything, as time went by, Chanyeol became… Nicer. Even if he never spent much time with Baekhyun and continued to go out every other Friday night, when he _didn't_ go out, he would order take out or he would prepare some food and would serve it to Baekhyun himself before heading to bed to rest. 

Baekhyun's sleeping habits, though, never changed. He always woke up before Chanyeol to prepare breakfast and had now taken it upon himself to wake Chanyeol up. 

As such, whenever Baekhyun pulled an all nighter, Chanyeol never found out. Not that Baekhyun thought Chanyeol would do something if did. Yes, Chanyeol was being more attentive, but that was about it. He couldn't allow himself to think there was more to the giant's actions. 

He was caught off-guard, though, one Thursday morning when he was particularly frustrated over a code. He spent most of the night working on it, yet it continued to come out wrong. He'd cried from anxiety several times and hyperventilated a couple more, not being able to control himself despite knowing it was bad for the baby. 

He lost track of everything around him, including time, as his red, swollen eyes stayed glued to the laptop screen and his fingers continued to type on the keyboard furiously. 

"Baekhyun?" He heard someone say in the distance, yet his mind barely registered it, still too focused on the task before him. 

"Baek?" The voice repeated, but it failed to drag him out of his daze until a gentle hand touched his arm. 

Baekhyun jumped in surprise, taken aback by the presence of the tall man next to him. 

"Chanyeol," he breathed out as he glanced at the time and realized that Chanyeol's alarm must've gone off already. "I-I'm sorry, I'll get breakfast ready right now," he said as he stood up in a rush, suddenly feeling dizzy as he did so. 

Chanyeol immediately noticed and wrapped his arm around the smaller's waist, steadying him as he studied his features closely. 

"Did you stay up all night?" he asked. 

Baekhyun bit his bottom lip and refused to meet the taller's gaze. "I-I lost track of time."

The giant sighed. "You need to take care of yourself and bean, little pup," he said, making Baekhyun's heart pick up its beat at the nickname he hadn't heard Chanyeol say in _years_. 

"Come, let's get you in bed," said Chanyeol as he guided Baekhyun down the hallway, his arm still safely securing Baekhyun's waist. 

Baekhyun felt embarrassed by the situation, guilt taking over at how his idiocy had successfully burdened Chanyeol once again. He didn't say anything, though, allowing Chanyeol to arrange the pillows under and around him and to lay the covers over him. 

"Rest, little pup," murmured Chanyeol with a small smile before he headed over to the bathroom, probably to take a shower. 

Baekhyun didn't rest, though. He couldn't, not after the memories Chanyeol revived with that nickname. 

No one ever cared much for him apart from his brother and grandmother. He was always that weird kid, the one all parents warned their kids about being inferior, the one everyone knew disappointed his parents. All his life, he was surrounded by the whispers and murmurs of everyone around him, reminding him that his family hated him. 

In school he could ignore it, sort of, since he could focus on his assignments to distract himself from what his classmates said, but during the fancy dances his parents frequently attended, he didn't have such luck. 

Oftentimes, he would find himself alone, sitting in a corner with his head bowed as the people around him, both young and old, spoke badly about him. On many occasions, his own parents started said waves of negative comments, mocking him for his faults in front of everyone. 

His grandmother tried to shield him from that, but there was only so much he could do when Baekhyun himself had retorted to hiding from everyone in the most peculiar of places. 

That was, of course, until one fateful Christmas dance when someone found him inside a coat rack. At eight, Baekhyun was friendless, so it came as a surprise to him to see the youngest of the Park family, Chanyeol smiling down at him and offering him his hand. 

"Hey little pup, let's go dance!" He exclaimed invitingly. 

Baekhyun had been taken aback because Chanyeol was that popular kid everyone loved. He came from a good family, was friendly, kind and smart and good at everything… Everything Baekhyun was not. 

Of course, little Baekhyun had hesitated, afraid that Chanyeol could be pulling a prank on him, though he knew Chanyeol wasn't the type to do such things. 

"Come on, I promise we'll have fun," insisted Chanyeol, his hand still extended.

Hesitantly, Baekhyun had reached over and just like Chanyeol promised, they _did_ have fun. The taller hadn't cared about Baekhyun's shyness or lack of knowledge in the dancing department. 

"You're really pretty, little pup. Don't hide from me, please," said Chanyeol when Baekhyun had been unable to meet his gaze. 

The smaller had felt something in his heart change, and the more times Chanyeol's danced with him through the years, the more Baekhyun felt like he was in love. 

Sighing, Baekhyun closed his eyes and sighed at the swarm of memories and nostalgia that suddenly hit him. Tears filled his eyes, but he bit his bottom lip to stop them from falling. 

Chanyeol had been the first one to approach him, and while he knew their grandmothers had something to do with that, Chanyeol kept approaching him out of his own free will, something that he confirmed with his grandmother once. 

Baekhyun heard the bathroom door open amd Chanyeol's footsteps against the floor as he moved around the bedroom. Baekhyun kept his eyes closed, hoping that maybe Chanyeol wouldn't notice he was awake. 

"Hey little pup, why are you crying again?" Asked Chanyeol as he sat down on the bed next to Baekhyun, his fingers carding through his hair. 

Baekhyun felt embarrassed at looking so weak in front of Chanyeol, but he couldn't help it. His feelings were all over the place, almost like all that had accumulated through the years was suddenly being released. 

"I-I'm sorry," mumbled Baekhyun. 

"Don't apologize for crying. Sometimes it's necessary," said Chanyeol. 

Baekhyun nodded as a response, his eyes still closed as he relished how good it felt to have Chanyeol touching him so tenderly, like he actually mattered. 

Slowly, his body started to relax as sleep finally welcomed him in its soft embrace, a soft kiss on his forehead and a "sweet dreams, little pup" wishing him well before he fully succumbed to his body's needs. 

++++

By month five of the pregnancy, Chanyeol felt like his life had been turned upside down completely. Ever since Baekhyun entered his life like a permanent fixture, Chanyeol felt like that missing puzzle he'd felt for years was finally filled. 

It was strange, yes, because he hadn't paid much attention to the smaller since their teenage years. And sure, he'd had a crush on him once, but those childish feelings had dissipated once the giant met his now ex in college. 

He couldn't complain though. Despite the less than ideal way things had occurred, Baekhyun was an incredible human being and had managed to shed some light on Chanyeol's otherwise bleak life. 

He didn't know what exactly he was feeling, but whatever it was…was intense. His heartbeat would pick up every time he was in the smaller's presence and perhaps the thought of having a baby with him had started to become appealing the more time passed by. 

"You have feelings for him," said Jongin one Saturday afternoon as they lounged around his living room. "Just admit it." 

Chanyeol sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair. "I-I don't know if I should." 

Jongin sighed. "I know Wendy hurt you badly, but letting that control you any more could cost you your happiness."

Biting his bottom lip, Chanyeol closed his eyes. "I don't know how to stop feeling scared."

"It won't be easy, but sometimes you just have to take the risk."

"And Baekhyun won't hurt you," Chanyeol heard another voice say from the entrance of the room. "He's too hurt himself to do that to someone else." 

Chanyeol followed Kyungsoo’s movements as the latter took a seat next to his boyfriend. 

"Baekhyun is very pure in nature, but life has played him dirty and tainted him. He's too scarred to even think about hurting another human being, especially you, who I'm sure knows how he feels." 

Chanyeol didn't reply because yes, he knew Baekhyun harbored feelings for him. The giant didn't know how intense his feelings were or for how long. He'd never really taken his time trying to figure that out. 

"I-I know that, but…" he stopped for a moment and sighed. "The problem isn't that I don't trust _him_ , the problem is _me_. I'm scared of fucking up the way I did with Wendy."

Jongin frowned at that. "We've been over this before. You were _devoted_ to that woman, Chanyeol. You loved her so much, you gave her _everything_ you had and she didn't appreciate it. She hurt _you_ , Chanyeol, not the other way around."

"If I was good to her then why did she cheat? Was I not enough?" Asked Chanyeol, feeling pathetic at asking the same question he'd been repeating in his mind for two years.

Jongin sighed as Kyungsoo leaned forward and grabbed Chanyeol's hand. "The problem was her. I know it's hard to recover from something like that, but I promise that we're being honest when we tell you the problem was never you. You _are_ enough, and Baekhyun sees that." 

Chanyeol knew Kyungsoo meant every word. After all, the man he dated before Jongin hurt him in a similar manner. If anyone understood his feelings, it was him. 

"You've allowed Wendy to control your life for too long. You've been alone for so long, drowning in pain and insecurity. Isn't it time to let that go? To live for yourself and to stop giving her that power over you?" Added Kyungsoo. 

Chanyeol knew he was right. " I'm sorry, it's just that ever since my grandmother told me I had to marry her I just… The progress I made went to the trash."

"But you were at a good place once, right? That means you can do it again. Healing is a process and you _can_ do it."

The giant remained silent after that. He didn't know what to say, his mind a mess as he tried to make himself understand Kyungsoo’s point. 

"And Baekhyun… He's amazing, Chanyeol. I promise you that, if you decide to trust him, he will treat you like no one ever did before. He'll cherish you and love you honestly. He knows what pain feels like and doesn't like for others to feel it. He'll never hurt you," added Kyungsoo. 

Chanyeol felt his heart constrict at Kyungsoo’s words. Yes, he knew Baekhyun was wonderful. Despite Chanyeol's initially cold attitude, Baekhyun had treated him well, he'd been sweet and kind. 

Ever since he started to live with him, it was like the feelings he once harbored for Baekhyun not only reappeared, but multiplied tenfold. It became so intense that he hadn't been able to sleep with anyone since the time he had sex with the smaller no matter how much he tried. 

He couldn't help it, really. Not when Baekhyun had undoubtedly been his first love in a way. He'd been the purest form of love Chanyeol ever got to experience, even if they never took their relationship further than the special dances they shared together. 

"Baekhyun is lonely and hurt, so please, if you decide to take the chance to love him, do it properly. Take care of him, cherish him, be there for him," pleaded Kyungsoo, squeezing Chanyeol's hand before letting go. 

Chanyeol knew he had a decision to make and even if the fear was eating him alive, he knew what his answer would be. Smiling at Kyungsoo, he nodded." I will, don't worry."

Perhaps that was why, right after he left the couple's apartment he found himself going to the supermarket to get the necessary ingredients to prepare a nice, healthy, delicious dinner for Baekhyun. He even bought a strawberry cake just for him, knowing how much the smaller had always loved the fruit. 

He didn't expect, though, contacting a close friend to get a little gift for Baekhyun, but something had struck him as he passed past the animal food section and the idea seemed… Perfect.

It took him a couple of hours more than initially expected, but he figured Baekhyun wouldn't mind once he saw what Chanyeol got for him. Or at least he hoped so. 

With his heart beating fast in his chest, Chanyeol entered the apartment, the box with Baekhyun's gift and the bags of food in his arms while trying his best not to drop anything. 

Baekhyun was sitting in living room couch, for once not stuck in front of his computer working. Chanyeol noticed the sadness in his eyes, which instantly made a pang of pain shot through his heart. 

"Hey," said the giant, trying his best not to show Baekhyun how worried he actually was. 

Baekhyun smiled at him, though he still looked sad as he did so. "Hey, do you need help?" He asked as he stood up. 

Chanyeol would've preferred if Baekhyun didn't move from the couch, preferring whenever the smaller rested. Baekhyun was perfectly capable of moving, though, and Chanyeol knew his thoughts were irrational, so instead he opted to let him help. 

After Baekhyun took the bags and placed them in the kitchen counter, he entered the living room again and tilted his head with curiosity, resembling a puppy. 

'Ah, that's why I started calling him little pup,' Chanyeol finally recalled as fond memories of their earlier years hit him. 

"What's that?" Asked Baekhyun with curiosity. 

Chanyeol was glad he did. He'd come to notice how little Baekhyun tended to ask him stuff , even if the curiosity in his eyes was painfully obvious. The fact that Baekhyun had slowly changed that only proved he felt more comfortable around Chanyeol. 

"It's a surprise for-" Chanyeol heard a little yelp then, followed by the box shaking. Baekhyun's face become even more confused and adorable. "You." 

"Me?" 

Chanyeol nodded enthusiastically as he motioned with his head for Baekhyun to come over. They both took a seat on one of the couches and Chanyeol handed the box over. "Hope you like it." 

Baekhyun continued to frown cutely, noticing the sounds coming from the box. He opened it slowly and with care and as soon as he saw what was inside, his face immediately turned from confusion to shock. 

"I figured you could use some company since I spend most days out of the apartment," added Chanyeol as Baekhyun reached inside the box and took the corgi puppy in his arms. 

"I-I don't even know what to say," said Baekhyun as the puppy licked his face excitedly. 

"You don't have to say anything," said Chanyeol as his heart ached at the beautiful sight of Baekhyun smiling and giggling brightly at the puppy. "I just want you to be happy" he murmured under his breath, too low for Baekhyun to catch it. 

"Thank you," said Baekhyun, his eyes shining with tears, but seeing the lack of sadness kn them, Chanyeol knew the smaller was happy. 

"You're welcome," replied Chanyeol. 

For the rest of the afternoon, the pair played with the puppy, who Baekhyun called Mongryong. Chanyeol felt touched at the sight, not being able to help himself from picturing how it would be when their baby joined them. 

'I'm so lucky,' he thought. 'Thank you, little pup.'

++++

Chanyeol hadn't been too happy at the prospect of attending a dance. He'd kept going through the years mostly to please his parents, but he'd stopped enjoying them the moment Baekhyun stopped attending them -not that he'd realized it back in the day. 

Ever the one that loved pleasing his family, though, he found himself attending one with Baekhyun's arm looped with his. He could _feel_ the smaller's nervousness. He didn't say anything and hadn't even protested when Chanyeol's mother asked them to attend, but Chanyeol knew better. 

He made sure to reassure Baekhyun as best he could, squeezing his hand occasionally and staying by his side as much as possible. Baekhyun seemed to appreciate it if the small smiles he sent him were anything to go by. 

Eventually, though, Baekhyun was pulled away by his grandmother who wanted her grandson to greet some family members who "couldn't wait to see you, Baekkie," though Chanyeol was sure it was morbid curiosity from their part to see Baekhyun's noticeable tummy. 

Left by himself, Chanyeol roamed around until he found his sister talking to some of her high school friends enthusiastically. 

Chanyeol never liked them. To him, they were arrogant, stuck up bitches and judging from the way they spoke of Baekhyun when they noticed his presence only confirmed his theory further. 

“Wendy’s coming tonight, you know? Maybe you should reconsider getting back with her since she’s more at your level,” said one of them with an arrogant smirk, Chanyeol not even bothering to remember her name.

Her words struck a chord, though, and his body went rigid at what she meant. No, he didn’t love her anymore, he was long over her and he’d sworn to himself he would never fall into her games again. No, what he dreaded would be the burning pain that he would feel when they met again. 

Despite the years that had gone by, everytime Chanyeol saw her he felt overwhelmed, the scars that she left when she cheated on him with her best friend reopening. It didn’t help that the woman was in a friends with benefits relationship with the man,or that she loved to flaunt him in front of Chanyeol every chance she could, almost like she was trying to rub it in his face that he was never enough for her. 

In fact, Chanyeol still remembered her words when he found them fucking on his bed, the memory fresh like it happened yesterday. 

“You were never good enough to satisfy me, Channie,” she said as she stared at him, the man continuing to touch her. 

Chanyeol remembers how badly he humiliated himself, begging her to give him a chance to become better, to show her how well he could treat her. Of course, the couple had only made fun of him in the cruelest of ways and had then proceeded to fuck in front of him, regardless of his feelings. 

He’d managed to somehow get past it with time, getting to a point where the way she made him feel wasn’t as obvious for her to notice. That was, of course, before his grandmother told him he was to marry _her,_ to the woman who shattered his heart viciously and enjoyed it. 

His family wasn’t aware of the details of what happened -excluding Yoora, of course-, though they knew the couple’s breakup had been nasty. They were part of the elite, though, and as such, it was expected of him to marry someone at his level, or so his father insisted. Apparently, it had been the man’s idea to marry him with Wendy after his grandmother’s initial plan of marrying him off to someone else failed.

At the thought, Chanyeol smiled slightly. His grandmother had always been a firm advocate of him ending up with her best friend’s grandson, Baekhyun. In fact, it had been both women who had encouraged him at the age of eight to ask the boy to dance.

“Look at the poor thing, Chan. He’s so lonely. I’m sure he would be happy if someone took their time to spare him even a second of company,” had said his grandmother back in the day, and Chanyeol, ever the one to want to see everyone happy, had taken her words into consideration and asked the small thing to dance.

Immediately, his heart had been stolen, Baekhyun igniting something in his heart for the first time that Chanyeol would only get to understand years later. It had been beautiful and both grandma Park and grandma Byun had seen it as a victory, the thought of having their husbands’ wishes of marrying their family members to elite memories of society and those elite members being the grandson of their best friend exciting them.

The plan ended up failing after the older son of the Byun’s died when Baekhyun was seventeen. Baekhyun had changed and his parents had become even colder, making their already existent displeasure more noticeable for everyone to hear and voicing how their remaining son was a disgrace that would _never_ inherit the Byun fortune. Not only that, but seeing how Baekhyun had left home as soon as he finished high school, there was no way the dreams both women built through the years could keep going.

That was, of course, until Chanyeol had seen Baekhyun dancing so deliciously on that dance floor at the club six months before and he had succumbed to the smaller’s charms.

Who would have thought life would bring them back together the way both women had wished for, even if the circumstances were less than ideal? 

Chanyeol chuckled at the irony, really. Life sure did work in mysterious ways.

It wasn’t long after his ‘conversation’ with the snakes ended that he was met with his worst nightmare. He’d been to the side, drinking a cup of champagne when the voice he once loved so much greeted him.

“You’re looking good, Channie,” said the woman with a mocking tone.

Chanyeol took a deep breath as he turned around, forcing himself to not be a coward and face her. To his shock, though, the moment his eyes fell on her, he felt...nothing. There was no pain, no sadness, no hate, no lingering feeling of humiliation. It was like the sight of her, of the person that hurt him the most, meant nothing to him, not anymore. And perhaps it was like that that he finally understood Kyungsoo’s words the month before.

He’d finally let go. He’d truly managed to take away the power she had over him. She was no longer the lingering force that continued to torture him every day. He hadn’t even noticed how it happened, but even so, he knew how it did. In his heart, he understood who had been his inspiration to move on, to let go and finally live after spending so long stuck on someone who hadn’t been worth it. 

Instead of replying to her and giving her even a second of his time, he turned around and searched for the one who had helped him heal unknowingly. Thankfully, he wasn’t hard to find, not when his soft aura called to him in a deep level. Seeing him smile politely at a group of ladies, though clearly uncomfortable, instantly made his heart feel warm.

Rudely, Chanyeol then walked away from who once was the source of his pain and headed over to the one who meant so much to him. Without thinking too much about it, he wrapped his arms around the man’s waist, placing his hands on his growing belly where their little bean was resting. 

“Ch-Chanyeol,” stuttered the man, clearly taken aback by the sudden act of affection.

Chanyeol smiled fondly at him and kissed his cheek tenderly before greeting the women Baekhyun had been talking to, apologizing for his rudeness. They didn’t seem to mind, though, instead watching the couple curiously and probably thinking of all the juicy gossip they could get out of this. Not that Chanyeol cared, not when the love of his life was safely secured in his arms.

‘Thank you for everything,’ he thought as his lips planted another kiss on his soft cheek. ‘Thank you for being my light.’

++++

Chanyeol’s behavior that night seemed strange to Baekhyun. It was the six month of his pregnancy and he still wondered why Chanyeol had started to act the way he did so suddenly, refusing to acknowledge the truth his heart had been screaming at him. 

‘No, there’s no way he has feelings for me,’ he told himself every time, even though the slightest of hope _tried_ to slip through. 

He still cherished what he got, though, and indulged in the way Chanyeol was so sweetly holding him in front of everyone. It helped Baekhyun ignore everyone’s whispers and also managed to make him forget momentarily about his parents’ cruel words earlier that night.

“Useless, pathetic slut. You’re a shame to our family,” his mother had loudly vocalized in front of his aunts. 

Baekhyun had left then, finding the strength somewhere inside him to walk away before she could say worse. He didn’t know where it came from until Chanyeol had hugged him and then he’d understood. Despite Chanyeol not loving him back, the man had been an unconditional source of support for months already, always treating Baekhyun tenderly no matter the circumstances.

It was later that night, when Baekhyun had slipped away from Chanyeol to go to the bathroom that he ran into someone he wished he didn’t. He’d been fast at the toilet and had washed his hands thoroughly before stepping out of the lush space when Wendy, Chanyeol’s ex, bumped into him.

“Oh sorry, I didn’t see you there,” she said with a fake apologetic look in her face. 

Baekhyun tried his best to be polite and tell her it was okay before walking away, but she continued to block his path, a cruel glint in her eyes as she did so. 

“I heard you’re having a baby with Chanyeol,” she said as she stared at his distended tummy. “I thought he had better taste, but it seems like I was wrong. Can’t believe he downgraded so badly after me.”

Baekhyun bit his bottom lip as he wrapped his arms around his belly, seeking strength and comfort from his baby. He didn’t say anything though, since he knew she was right. 

“You should be ashamed of seducing him. Don’t think I don’t know of how you looked at him even when he was dating me. You disgusting little slut, looking at my man while you slept around with other men,” she said with a cruel smirk. “You managed to trap him, though, didn’t you? Getting pregnant was the perfect way to get him in your clutches. Can’t say it wasn’t a smart move, considering how badly his grandmother always wanted to marry him off to you...who knows why since you’re disgusting.”

The smaller tried to tune her out, but it was impossible, especially when her words mirrored the ones he’d been hearing all night long. 

“Hope you’re happy to know that you ruined his life. He would’ve been better off marrying me the way his father wanted to,” she said, venom dripping from each of her words without remorse. “Now he’s stuck with an embarrassment. To think not even your parents want you, especially after you killed your own brother. Pathetic,” she added as she stared him up and down once more with disgust in her features before walking away. 

Baekhyun felt his heart hurt as the words the woman pronounced plagued his mind, poisoning his thoughts relentlessly as he walked back to the dance. He saw Chanyeol smiling brightly at their grandmothers and felt his heart constrict further.

Wendy was right, though. Baekhyun had really ruined Chanyeol’s life with his mistakes. And while he didn’t regret his baby per se, he hated knowing how he came to be. And yes, Chanyeol had shown excitement over the baby as time went by, obviously becoming acquainted with the idea and even accompanying him to his appointments at the doctor -and crying when it was revealed they would be having a boy, though Baekhyun was sure he would’ve cried if it was a girl too. 

That excitement, though, had happened because Chanyeol was forced into the situation. Yes, Baekhyun had ruined Chanyeol’s life. The giant had said it himself when they first found out about the pregnancy, he hadn’t wanted children, he’d wanted his liberty...a liberty Baekhyun robbed him of. 

He managed to hide his feelings, even if his mind was a mess and his heart was bleeding uncontrollably. He couldn’t allow their grandmothers to find out about what he felt or the truth behind his relationship with Chanyeol. 

It was later that night, though, when they arrived home and Baekhyun immediately took Mongryong in his arms, seeking his warmth and comfort, that he allowed himself some reprieve. He didn’t allow the tears to fall, of course, since explaining that to Chanyeol wouldn’t be easy. Instead, he sat down on the living room couch and his face in Mongryong’s belly, the puppy lying his head on Baekhyun’s shoulder, almost like he knew his human needed comfort.

Baekhyun heard Chanyeol move around the apartment, probably getting ready for bed. If he went to sleep first, Baekhyun could perhaps get some time by himself to cry the way he badly needed to. He didn’t want Chanyeol to see him like that, it would be embarrassing. 

The smaller waited and once he heard the bedroom door close, he counted the minutes until he was sure Chanyeol was asleep. It wasn’t until then that he finally allowed the tears to fall, keeping his sobs to a minimum and making sure his weeps were quiet too. Mongryong snuggled closer to him and Baekhyun held him tightly, though he tried to make sure he didn’t hurt him. 

He was caught up in his feelings, memories of his past with Chanyeol, of his brother, of the accident, of everything, suddenly attacking him as Wendy’s words kept running through his mind. 

She was right, of course. He’d ruined Chanyeol's life. He knew it since the moment he found out he was pregnant. Just like he ruined everyone else’s life, he’d taken Chanyeol down a dark path, forced him into a life he didn’t want. Regardless of how Chanyeol felt about the baby now, he hadn’t wanted him before. He’d only wanted sex, Baekhyun knew this. A baby was never part of his plans. 

Fuck up after fuck up, that was all Baekhyun knew what to do. Ruining lives, hurting others, being useless and pathetic, that was what his existence had consisted of. He knew he shouldn’t have been born, he knew his parents didn’t want him, he knew he was a disappointment. 

He was startled when he felt a hand touch the top of his hair. He looked up abruptly and was met with Chanyeol’s sad eyes, who was now kneeling in front of him. 

“Hey little pup, why are you crying?” Asked Chanyeol, his voice soft as his hands cupped his cheeks and brushed away the tears with his thumbs. 

Baekhyun bit his bottom lip, ashamed at being caught in such a vulnerable moment. Chanyeol wasn’t supposed to see him like that, after all. “N-nothing, just hormones,” he replied, looking away from the giant, not being able to keep their gazes connected when he was lying. 

“Come on, little pup. I know you’re lying,” he replied, his fingers running soothing circles on his skin. “I don’t want to force you to tell me, that isn’t my attention, but I do want you to remember you can trust me. I’m here for you, little pup. No matter what happens, I’m not going anywhere.”

Baekhyun felt his heart constrict at that and suddenly, the urge to open up about his feelings, about his pain, his insecurities and his guilt, took over him in overwhelming waves. A part of him refused to tell Chanyeol anything, claiming it would only burden the giant with his senseless issues, but another was desperate to get all those horrible emotions out. 

In the end, he opened his mouth and everything fell from his lips before he could stop it. 

"I-I'm sorry," he said. "I'm so sorry for everything, for ruining everyone's lives. I feel so bad because I-I ruined my parents’ lives a-and yours a-and,” he took a deep breath as his voice grew thick. “I k-killed my brother.”

Chanyeol sighed and leaned closer, looking into Baekhyun’s eyes. “His death was an accident, Baekhyun.”

“N-no, it wasn’t! If I hadn’t insisted on him going to my piano recital, he would still be alive! If I hadn’t been so selfish and gotten angry at him for having to work so much, he would still be here! It was my fault!” He exclaimed, his distress increasing with each word that went past his lips.

“Why would that be your fault? You wanted him to be there for you, and I’m sure he went because he wanted to,” said Chanyeol. “You couldn’t have controlled what happened.”

Baekhyun took a deep breath as he listened to Chanyeol. Yes, a part of him had always known that what happened that fateful night many years before hadn’t been his fault, but it was hard to tell himself that when that was all he heard from his parents. 

It had been a particularly rainy night when he was seventeen. Even if he was never good at much, he’d still tried to please his parents. As such, he’d made himself learn how to play the piano. He’d practiced endlessly day and night, determined to become excellent and finally make his parents proud. 

His teacher had been relentless with him, pressuring until he became a pro. When he did, his teacher had been proud and insisted on Baekhyun doing recitals. Of course, the boy had accepted, eager to show his skills and prove, finally, that he was good enough. He’d invited his family to each recital, hoping to see them there and get their approval, yet they never could. His parents had called it “a waste of time” while Baekbeom had been too busy and his grandmother had been taking care of his grandfather, who at the time was at the hospital terminally ill. 

He’d tried to understand, he really did. It got too much eventually, though, since no one apart from his music teacher seemed to care. 

Baekhyun had never been one to talk back or scream. He’d always been the type to lower his head whenever anyone spoke badly to him or rejected his efforts. That particular afternoon, though, it’d been too much and he’d yelled at his brother, tears running down his cheeks at the desperation he felt over being ignored and disregarded like he was worth nothing. 

Still, Baekhyun hadn’t expected to see his brother standing proudly in the crowd days later, watching him perform the piano. Baekhyun had felt so happy and loved that he’d given his best performance to date, and when he was done, Baekbeom had praised him endlessly, reiterating that he was amazing and “mom and dad need to see this, Baekkie. I’ll convince them, I promise.”

The ride home had been beautiful, with both singing along to the songs on the radio, Baekbeom driving with the utmost care due to how slippery and wet the roads were. Sadly, not every driver was as conscious of the dangers. A drunk driver in a huge pickup trucks had lost control of his vehicle and hit the brothers’ car dead on. 

Baekhyun had come out relatively unscath apart from a sprained leg and a broken wrist, but Baekbeom hadn’t been as lucky. Baekhyun could still remember the gruesome sight of his brother’s dead body in the car, blood falling down his forehead. 

He’d wanted comfort and reassurance, but his parents, as soon as they saw him, had blamed him for everything. “If you weren’t so selfish, our precious son would still be here,” had exclaimed his mother through her tears. She’d been so upset that she’d attacked him, hitting him over and over once they’d reached their home.

And Baekhyun had let her because he’d started to believe her words. 

Baekhyun told that to Chanyeol in that moment, going into detail, making him understand that he was murderer. 

“Baekhyun, you’re not,” insisted Chanyeol. “It was an accident.”

Baekhyun lowered his eyes in shame, unable to meet Chanyeol’s gaze. “B-but my parents say otherwise.”

“Your parents are assholes, little pup,” he replied. “Everything they say about you has always been a lie.”

“It is?” He whispered, his heart beating fast at the possible truth that Chanyeol’s words hinted at. 

“Yeah, it is. You’re smart, kind, funny, talented, and beautiful, little pup. You’ve always been,” replied Chanyeol as he leaned forward to plant a soft kiss on Baekhyun’s forehead.

Baekhyun’s tears fell once again, this time because of how touched he felt at Chanyeol’s sweet words. In other circumstances, Baekhyun would’ve thought Chanyeol was lying just to make him feel better, but the sincerity in his tone was undeniable. Not even his poisonous mind could refute it. 

Chanyeol moved and took a seat next to Baekhyun on the couch. Without saying anything, he took Baekhyun in his arms and held him close. Baekhyun closed his eyes and sighed as he buried his face in Chanyeol’s chest, feeling protected and warm. Mongryong lay down next to Baekhyun, his head on Baekhyun’s thigh.

They remained silent for a while as Baekhyun’s tears continued to fall, though the pain in his heart had started to ease.

And then, Chanyeol started to sing a lullaby Baekhyun recognized. 

A month after Baekbeom’s death, Baekhyun’s parents had forced Baekhyun to attend yet another dance and, as expected, everyone whispered about him and the accident. He heard them blame him, much like his parents had. 

Too hurt to stay and feeling a panic attack creeping in, Baekhyun had decided to hide outside somewhere in the enormous garden of the mansion the dance was taking place in. He’d cried and hiperventilated to his heart’s content, liberating the overwhelming emotions he’d been forced to hide by his parents, who refused to allow him to grieve. “You don’t deserve it,” had said his father. “His death is your fault.”

No one cared enough to search for him, he’d thought, so he’d given himself that small moment of reprieve before he went back to the dance and lowered his head the way he always did.

“Little pup, don’t cry anymore,” had said a seventeen-year-old Chanyeol when he found him, crouching in front of him and wiping his tears away. 

Baekhyun had looked at him with all the force of his sadness and pain shining in his eyes and Chanyeol had instantly wrapped his arms around him, comforting him in a way that no one ever did before. He’d held him tightly, whispering comforting words, reminding him how beautiful and amazing he was before he’d started to hum a sweet lullaby in his ear. 

“My grandma used to sing it to me when I was younger,” he’d said once Baekhyun had calmed down and they’d decided to go back to the dance. 

Twelve years later, in Chanyeol’s living room, the giant still held that comforting air to himself that Baekhyun had loved so much, yet it was different...Chanyeol was different, as was Baekhyun...and Baekhyun had managed to fall in love all over again, more sincerely this time around.

“Little pup, what did you mean when you said you ruined my life too?” Asked Chanyeol once Baekhyun had stopped crying.

Baekhyun’s heart sped up, fear starting to creep in at Chanyeol’s possible reaction to what Baekhyun would tell him. What if the smaller’s words made him realize how much Baekhyun had fucked up his life and Chanyeol ended up hating him? He had to be honest, though. He owed Chanyeol his truth. 

Pulling apart from Chanyeol and staring down at his baby bump, Baekhyun sighed and closed his eyes. “It’s my fault that we’re in this situation now,” he murmured. “I’d changed my contraceptive pills when we had sex and forgot about how it could affect my hormone levels. The doctor warned me, but I just...forgot, I guess. And then I forgot about using a condom with you,” his voice cracked at the final words, once again feeling himself about to start crying. “I-It’s my fault that you’re stuck with me having a baby you didn’t want. I took away your liberty and your dreams...and I-I’m so sorry about that.”

Chanyeol remained silent for a moment and Baekhyun waited, expecting for the giant to explode and tell him he was right, but that didn’t happen.

Instead, Chanyeol placed two fingers under Baekhyun’s chin and tilted his head in his direction, making the smaller meet his eyes. The giant was smiling softly, looking at him tenderly. “Silly little pup, why are you taking all the blame? It takes two people to have sex. I forgot about the condom too. It was both our faults,” he said. “Besides, yes, I was upset at first because I hadn’t planned for things to be this way, but I wouldn’t change this for anything.”

Baekhyun parted his lips, trying to come up with something to say, but failing to find any appropriate words. 

“You and bean have turned my world upside down in a good way. After Wendy cheated on me, I thought that life sucked and that love wasn’t real, but then you happened and I started to believe again. It took time because I was scared, and I still am, but I’m working on that,” said the giant as his smile grew. “I wouldn’t change you and bean for anything. I’m excited for what’s to come, for the family we will form and for the future that’s ahead. You don’t need to feel guilty because, instead of _ruining_ my life, you _fixed_ it.”

The smaller felt the tears fall from his eyes once again, but this time they weren’t sad ones.

“I love you, little pup,” said Chanyeol, his beautiful eyes staring into Baekhyun’s with a beautiful glint in them that Baekhyun hadn’t seen since the last time they danced together. “Would you let me show you how much?”

Baekhyun was speechless, unsure of what to reply. He hadn’t expected for this to happen. In his mind, he’d always been inadequate, inferior to Chanyeol. 

Could he have been wrong? Did he really deserve to be happy with the man he loved?

He had two options, he could allow the darker side of him to take over and reject Chanyeol...or he could take a leap of faith and allow himself to be happy. 

And in the end, after managing to disregard the voice in his mind for the first time in his life, he let go and allowed himself to be happy. 

He nodded, his lips unable to utter a single sound because of how overwhelmed he felt in that moment. Chanyeol smiled at his response and immediately leaned forward, his lips brushing Baekhyun’s softly, tentatively. Baekhyun closed his eyes and allowed Chanyeol to take it at his own pace, moving his own lips in the same manner.

The giant held him closely, one hand caressing his cheek tenderly while the other held on to his hip tightly. His lips, oh so delicious to Baekhyun, continued to taste his, massaging them softly.

Baekhyun felt his insides start to melt, his toes curling from the pleasure that was starting to build up inside of his body. He held onto Chanyeol tightly, his fingers clutching his shoulders as he tried to get closer to the man...or at least as close as his distended belly allowed him.

“You’re beautiful, little pup,” breathed Chanyeol as he pressed a path of soft kisses down Baekhyun’s neck. Baekhyun moved his head to the side, giving Chanyeol more access to his skin, his pretty lips opening as soft whimpers of pleasure escaped his lips. 

“Ch-Chanyeollie,” he gasped as Chanyeol’s lips sucked at a particular spot close to his clavicule. “P-please.”

The giant continued sucking, his tongue caressing the skin softly before his lips continued to suck hard. Baekhyun continued to beg, for what, he didn’t know, but he needed Chanyeol to do _something, anything._

“Do you trust me?” Asked Chanyeol once he pulled away, his eyes studying Baekhyun’s features closely.

Immediately, Baekhyun nodded. There was no doubt in his mind, Baekhyun trusted him unconditionally. 

“Then, come with me,” he said as he stood up, offering his hand to Baekhyun.

The smaller knew what Chanyeol meant. There was no doubt in his mind that Chanyeol wanted him. The giant’s eyes _screamed_ lust, desire and _love_. Still, he was giving Baekhyun the option to decide if he wanted for this to continue or not.

Without hesitating, Baekhyun took Chanyeol’s hand and stood up, a small smile on his lips as he tried to reassure the taller that, indeed, they could continue. Chanyeol seemed relieved and squeezed his hand before treading down the hall towards the bedroom. 

Once inside, Chanyeol closed the door before cupping Baekhyun's cheeks and kissing his lips with more fervor this time around. Baekhyun clutched onto him tightly, keeping him close as Chanyeol explored his mouth with his tongue to his heart’s content. Baekhyun continued to make soft sounds of pleasure, unable to stop himself because of how good Chanyeol was making him feel. 

Slowly, they undressed each other in between kisses and sweet caresses. Their hands touched and their eyes explored, drinking in the other’s bodies with hunger and desire.

Eventually, once they were completely naked, they moved to the bed. Chanyeol grabbed a pillow and helped Baekhyun put it under his back before the smaller lay comfortably, looking up at Chanyeol expectantly, excited for what was to come. Chanyeol knelt between his legs, his eyes studying every inch of his body with a beautiful glint in his eyes.

“Perfect,” he said, his fingers trailing soft caresses all over his skin, his eyes drinking the smaller in with adoration, treating him like he was precious to him. Then, he leaned over to his bedside table to grab a bottle of lube and placed it on the mattress.

“Bean, cover your ears,” he teased as his hands lay on Baekhyun’s tummy. Baekhyun giggled at his antics and that seemed to please Chanyeol, who softened his smile. “You look so beautiful with our little bean growing inside you,” murmured Chanyeol as he continued to stare at Baekhyun fondly. “And sexy.”

Baekhyun felt his entire body flushed at that. He thought he looked fat and bloated, but he wasn’t about to question Chanyeol’s words either. Not when he wasn’t one to receive compliments often.

‘Just accept it,’ he told himself. ‘It’s time you start to love yourself.’

Chanyeol made sure to continue expressing just how beautiful he thought he was, his lips trailing kisses all over his body, exploring and tasting until not a single spot was left untouched. 

No one had ever treated him so well and with so much care. Yeah, he’d orgasmed during sex before, but it had always been about that only. The act had always been about the physical aspect, about getting off and releasing some pent up energy. There were no tender kisses or sweet touches or soft words of appreciation. 

If anything, Baekhyun had never felt particularly desirable. He knew what he was to his flings, he’d never deluded himself into thinking he was something he wasn’t. It wasn’t like he’d treated them any differently, either. He was a hole for them to fuck and Baekhyun had used them in the same manner, seeking for some sort of validation and use in a world where he was regarded as useless. 

For the first time in his life, someone took their time pleasuring him and reminding him him that he was much more worth it than to be used as a toy. 

Tears welled in his eyes as Chanyeol took his erection in his mouth and started to suck. Baekhyun moaned loudly, allowing himself to be as loud as he wanted for the first time in his life, knowing perfectly well that Chanyeol wouldn’t tell to stay quiet. Instead, he allowed himself to let go, clutching Chanyeol’s hair and losing himself in the movements of Chanyeol’s mouth. 

As he was going crazy, pleasure running through his body in endless waves, he felt Chanyeol introduce a lubed finger in his entrance. He took his time opening him up, moving his finger slowly as his mouth continued to taste his cock. He eventually added a second finger, keeping the same slow pace. He scissored his fingers and kept moving them before adding a third one.

“Ch-Chanyeollie, please,” begged Baekhyun, his eyes closed and his head thrown back. “I need you, please.”

Chanyeol pulled away from his cock and pulled his fingers out, sitting back and looking down at Baekhyun, his hair a disheveled mess and his lips swollen. "Are you sure you want to do this?" 

Baekhyun felt shocked at Chanyeol's question. No one had ever asked him midway into the act if he still wanted to keep going. He'd never really voiced out if he wanted to stop, either, and it wasn't like he wanted to stop in that moment either. Being asked felt nice, though. It made Chanyeol's feelings for him even more evident.

"Yeah, I want this. I want _you_ ," he replied. 

Chanyeol smiled at Baekhyun's sweet words and leaned down, careful not to press on Baekhyun’s belly, and kissed his lips softly. "I'll take care of you. Don't worry."

Baekhyun wasn't worried. If anything, he'd never felt as relaxed and safe with anyone he had sex before. He knew Chanyeol would keep his word, there was nothing for Baekhyun to feel scared of. 

Chanyeol sat back and very gently spread Baekhyun's legs. Then, he grabbed his own cock and placed the tip at Baekhyun's entrance. Very slowly, he entered him, his thumbs running soothing circles on Baekhyun’s hips to try to ease the pain. Baekhyun took deep breaths, trying his best to resist the sting that came with the intrusion. He kept his eyes open, though his eyes connected to Chanyeol's at all moments. 

"Are you okay?" Asked Chanyeol tenderly as he looked down at Baekhyun. 

The smaller nodded and smiled. "Yeah, I just need a moment."

Chanyeol waited patiently, running his fingers in gentle trails all over his thighs, hips and belly. Baekhyun smiled at the gesture, finding it easy to relax and tell Chanyeol to continue. The giant kept it slow, his movements languid and precise, slipping his cock up to the head and then slowly pushing it in again. It felt nice, especially with the way Chanyeol was looking at him, his eyes full of love and devotion. Baekhyun felt his heart get constricted at that. 

"Why are you crying, love?" Asked Chanyeol when he noticed Baekhyun's tears. 

Baekhyun bit his bottom lip, contemplating the possibility of lying, but knowing that he didn't have to. Chanyeol wouldn't judge him or hurt him in any way. 

"No one ever treated me so well before," he confessed in between soft whimpers of pleasure elicited by Chanyeol's cock inside of him. "No one really cared if I was enjoying myself during sex, if I was comfortable or if I wanted to stop. I was just… A hole, I guess, a toy to be used and I thought that was all I deserved, all I was good for."

Chanyeol squeezed his hips at that, sending him a reassuring smile. Baekhyun smiled back, though the tears didn't stop. 

"This is too new for me, I'm sorry," said Baekhyun as the tears got worse, covering his face with trembling hands.

"Hey,little pup, it's okay," mumbled Chanyeol as he slipped out of him and lay next to him, always careful with the smaller's tummy. The giant cupped Baekhyun's cheeks and tilted his head in his direction, leaning forward to kiss the tears on his cheeks away. "Thank you for being honest with me. I know it isn't easy, but I hope you can start to trust me more and more with time, and I'll make sure to do the same."

"I love you, Chanyeol," murmured Baekhyun as his gaze met Chanyeol's. "I love you so much." 

Chanyeol grinned at that before kissing Baekhyun's lips slowly, tasting and nipping to his heart’s content before letting go and guiding to lie on his side. He grabbed the pillow they'd used for Baekhyun's back and placed it under Baekhyun's belly to create some support for it. 

When he was sure Baekhyun was comfortable, he lay behind him, wrapped his arms around him and entered him once again. This time, his movements were deeper and faster per Baekhyun's request, his lips trailing kisses from his shoulder all the way up to his ears, whispering sweet words of love and devotion in his ear as he did so. 

Baekhyun felt even more overwhelmed with emotion than before, the love Chanyeol was transmitting to him through their union too much for him to hold in. 

The smaller could perfectly tell the difference between the first time they had sex and this one, and yet even then, when he'd been nothing but a one night stand, a fling, Chanyeol had treated him well. He'd always _cared_ to a certain extent, only that now that they had fallen in love properly with the current them, the sex had become something _more_. It wasn't just fucking anymore, it went beyond that. 

Was this what making love felt like? Perhaps it was, and as Baekhyun reached his climax., his lips exclaiming Chanyeol's name with love and pleasure and every other emotion he felt for him, he hoped that they could make love for as long as fate allowed them.

++++

Park-Byun Haneul was born on September ten after fourteen hours of labor. As Baekhyun lay in the hospital bed with his son in his arms and the love of his life sitting next to him, he took a moment to thank life for the blessings it had given him. 

"He has your lips," said Chanyeol, who was staring down at the little bean with devotion in his eyes.

"And your ears," replied Baekhyun with a soft smile on his lips before he started to hum the lullaby Chanyeol always sang to him, the same lullaby grandma Park had made specifically for her grandson so many years before.

Chanyeol kissed his cheek and muzzled it before he joined him, their voices blending together in a melodious tone that resonated softly against the bedroom walls. 

When they were finished, Baekhyun lay his head on Chanyeol's shoulder and Chanyeol wrapped his arm around him to hold him closer. 

"We made him," mumbled Chanyeol, his voice thick with tears. 

Baekhyun smiled fondly at his reaction as he turned his head and planted a soft kiss on his cheek. "You big baby," he mumbled. "We did well."

Chanyeol met Baekhyun’s eyes with an equally loving smile on his lips. "I love you."

"I love you too." 

Chanyeol leaned down then, careful not to wake Haneul up, and kissed Baekhyun softly, both smiling into the kiss as they expressed the love they felt for each other with their actions.

Later that night, as Baekhyun closed his eyes and started to fall asleep, a soft smile spread across his lips as he felt how truly lucky he'd become. Despite the dirty hand fate had given him for most of his twenty seven years of life, he could say that everything had finally fallen into place. 

At last, after so much suffering, he could finally say that he was happy and that life had given him the love he'd always wanted. 

**Epilogue**

Baekhyun smiled fondly at the sight before him as he held the phone in his hand, trying his best to catch good frames without the picture coming out blurry. It was hard, though, with little Haneul, now three years old, trying to catch his dad, who was 'running' around the back patio of their house. Mongryong and Toben -a small poodle puppy that had joined their family the month before- were following right behind, barking in excitement. 

If anyone asked him years before if he thought this was what life had in store for him he would've laughed. He'd fallen down a rabbit hole he saw no way out of after years of suffering, but he'd managed to escape it with the support of Kyungsoo, his grandmother and his family, Chanyeol and Haneul. 

He was really lucky to have been able to have gotten to that point. Yes, he still had nightmares occasionally and his insecurities hit him hard on certain occasions. That was okay, though, it was part of the process of healing. Once, he would've allowed the downs to eat him alive, but now, as life had gotten better and he had slowly started to heal the bleeding scars that had been open for a majority of his life, his outlook on everything had become much more positive. 

Healing involved having downs occasionally. What mattered was getting through them, holding tightly onto the good things and seeking the support of his loved ones when he needed it. 

Before getting married to Chanyeol one year after Haneul was born, they'd promised to communicate with each other as much as they could. As such, they had both worked to become more honest with each other, to open up when they were feeling down and to fix any issues before going to bed. So far, they were doing amazing, their fights minimal and their hardships eclipsed by the joys that life had given them. 

All in all, their lives were filled with love, puppies, lullabies they kept creating for little Haneullie, and anticipation for what life had prepared for them. 

Grinning widely, Baekhyun looked down at his pregnant belly, eager to meet the newest member of their family in about a month, if everything went well. 

Yes, life was amazing and Baekhyun couldn't have been more thankful.


End file.
